THE UNHOLY DISCLAIMER
:
"Gimme gimme
gimme a GW boy after midnight!!!"
Uhm. (coughs)
Would I be singing this if I owned any of them? Especially Treize?? You're
right. No. So what's your conclusion? Exactly!! I don't own GW!!
Silence means consent...
The young girl held her breath and clenched her fists, as she stared at the
small trailer. She wasn't about to give up now. She had already been through so
much to find him again, to see him. She was aware that rejection was most
likely the only thing in store for her, the only thing she truly deserved. But
when her desire to apologize, once the war was over, had bordered to an
obssession, when her nights had become filled with visions of deep,
emotionless, yet hurt emerald eyes, she had come to a conclusion. This wasn't
guilt. Guilt was a kind feeling. What she felt was love, infatuation. An insane
desire for somebody who didn't even know her. It had to stop. And there were
only two ways. She had to realize he was real, and not only the picture of her
neurosis and shattered hopes. Two ways. Forgiveness or rejection. But she had
to know, or else, she would never be able to go on. She could feel it.
She tucked a strand of pale gold hair behind
her ear, and made her way slowly toward the trailer, pondering what she would
say for the hundredth time. She could still feel the fluttering in her stomach
that had appeared as she watched the act. Every time a blade bit in the wood,
the fear. And that girl. She refused to drown further by indulging herself in
something as shameful as jealousy. But that girl was indisputably gorgeous. And
they had seemed to share something special. An undefinable trust and feel of
the other. Unique enough to allow her to throw knives at him, unique enough to
have him lean willingly against the board. She didn't want to think about it,
but her rational mind told her that she was late...
She tried to brush the painful thought aside
and stood in the shadows, as he aproached his trailer, shirtless. He breath was
caught in her throat at the lithe form, the lean muscles ripping under the
bronzed skin. God. He was even more beautiful that before. Impressive...
"Nanashi..." She whispered unconsciously. No. He had a name. Trowa.
She had to respect this first, she scolded herself. She snapped back to
reality, as the red haired knife thrower appeared, dragging playfully a young
blonde boy with her.
"Aaaaw... Quatre! Stop it! You're NEVER a
bother!"
The blonde boy seemed to resist shyly, and she
had him in front of the trailer in no time. Then, to Midii's surprise, she
left, leaving the two boys alone. She observed them carefully. They seemed to
be talking, but those where berely whispers exchanged between the two. She
noticed how shy and calm the converstion was. It was almost... Intimate. Though
she couldn't hear the words, she could feel there was something different and
deeper than a mere friendly talk. The discussion seemed to come to an end, as
the blonde boy turned to leave and waved timidly. Trowa however, caught his
wrist in an impulsive and akward gesture. Her eyes widened at the scene. Could
it be? There was an uncomfortable silence between the two and embarassed looks.
Then, again, those words she couldn't hear, but which tore at her heart, knowing
with a sick certainty their meaning.
It came suddenly, it was almost blurry. Trowa
closed the distance between them by pulling at the pale wrist and their lips
met, gently, yet passionatly. There was nothing but love in this kiss. Pure and
overwhelmings feelings.
She felt her heart constrict in her chest, her
throat go dry. She tried to blink back the first tears.
She swallowed softly, as the two ended the
kiss. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so numb, so lonely. She
couldn't even muster the strength to follow her previous plan and apologize.
She knew that if she had to face him, to face them, she wouldn't stand that
screaming happiness, in front of her collapsed hopes. And she would probably
end up running away, like she had always done.
She sniffed soundly, widening her eyes in
attempt to stop the tears that were now threatening to fall like a river, and
failed miserably. She made her way towards the bus stop slowly, her shoulders
shaking with quiet sobs, wiping compulsively her eyes. 'Stay dignified, at
least, for God's sake!!' She scolded herself, taking a deep breath, only to end
up crying in earnest a few seconds after. She went past the circus's entry and
the sweets vendor, bowing her head to hide her pathetic state.
Suddenly, she was stopped by a fuming donut
held out right in front her eyes. She stared at the treat, at the hand holding
it, at the arm where it belonged, then at its owner.
"My, my, my... We aren't over-happy, are
we? Oh well. I have no tissue for this young lady, but me have here an
excellent antidepressant!" A boy about her age grinned.
She looked up at his radiant face, taking the
treat gingerly. Was it some kind of sicko? He didn't look dangerous, hungry at
the most, with the interesting amount of various treats filling the paper bag
he was carrying. She bit softly in the donut. It was oily, over-sweetened, a
bit bitter somehow, but the mere idea that somebody could stop to give it to
her made it taste good.
She managed a smile, which seemed to make
the stranger's grin widen, if possible.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome. I tell you, don't waste
your time weeping, go and buy yourself a jar of peanut butter!" He said in
a mock doctor tone, as he digged happily in his bag.
"Ah... I have to go now... Thanks."
She whispered, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.
"Bwye!" He waved, his mouth full.
Fortunatly, she didn't see the stranger
walking towards Trowa's trailer and knocking loudly, or else she would have
died of utter shame on her spot...
.
"Now... Lesse. You've worked six years on
Fiorina 161*. I assume you know how to use a computer." Duo said, staring
intently at the last applicant.
"Of course, is it all I will have to
do?" A confident voice retorted.
"Oi, oi... Slow down, one thing after
another, okay?" He answered, holding out his hands, "See this? Just
make it work." He said, gesturing to a computer with a desperatly black
screen.
"A test?" The young man smiled,
"Fine!"
Duo watched the applicant, probably four or
five years older than him, cut up, dissect, torture the stubborn machine with
an inhuman imagination, before eventually sit back, helpless. 'Sheesh... I
don't need a a nuclear physicist! I just want an ounce of good sense!' He
thought, while showing him to the door.
He was about to close and call it a day when a
soft and shy voice resounded in the hangar. "Uh... Excuse me? I... I went
here for the job... I..."
He stopped and reopened the small and messy
office, without turning. "Okay... Just come, but you're the last one for
today."
"Thanks."
Midii walked silently to the cramped office,
where the light was still on. There was a tone in this voice... She couldn't
place it, but her years of training made it obvious to her ears that it was
somehow familiar. She entered the room, and her eyes widened at the same time
as the young boss's. She hadn't noticed he had a such a braid, with the coat,
but those open features and the big curious violet eyes were unmistakable. It
was 'Mr donuts', as she had filed him earlier.
He stared at her too, surprised to find her
again, and observing attentively her face. She didn't look the same, in the
light, and without those red, puffy eyes and tears strained cheeks. She was
actually cute, he mused.
"So we meet again?" He grinned,
leaning back in his armchair and putting his feet on the table.
"I... Guess so." She said softly,
unable to meet his gaze.
"Okay... Let's get rid of the details
quickly! Name, age, qualifications, former employer, address."
"Une, Midii. 16. Qualified in computer
using, mechanical engineering and maintenance. I used to work for... The army.
I just arrived here, I don't have any address to give you yet, except the
hotel..."
He listened attentively, taking quick notes,
and frowned momentarily. "I thought you'd be younger, seeing you... Which
army?"
There was a thick silence as an answer, and
her lips trembled slightly. As she opened her mouth to confess it, she was
surprised to see him raise his finger.
"Okay... I see. Just don't say it. 'The
army' will be fine. This goddamned war is over, anyway..." He said calmly,
his usual grin returning at full force.
She blinked at him, agape.
"Hey! Don't gimme that look! You're not
hired yet. Now to my special test!" He chirped.
She felt a twinge of worry at the thought that
she might very well not be able to pass it, but waited for his instructions
nonetheless.
"I wrote it in the ad, I need somebody
qualified." He said sternly, "See this? Just make it work." He
finished, gesturing to the 'special' computer.
Midii watched him in complete amazement,
looking at him, then back at the machine, then at him again, as if he had said
some curse word. Eventually, she walked slowly towards the desk, still staring
at him in utter disbelief, kneeled and... Plugged it in.
He grinned at her stunned face like a Cheshire
cat, and handed her a green sheet of paper and a pen.
"Welcome in the Maxwell Scrapyard! Just
sign at the bottom. You're starting tomorrow."
She signed the document with a trembling hand,
barely believing her good luck, and was about to leave, when he spoke again.
"Hey... You said you were in a
hotel?" He questioned with a lazy grin.
"Uhm... Yes." She answered
sheepishly. She would have to find something soon.
"Can you cook?" He asked, taking his
feet off the desk and standing up.
"I guess so." She replied, a bit
taken aback.
"Can you stand the sight of boxers lying
around in the bathroom?" He went on.
"As long as I don't have to pick them
up..." She shrugged.
"Then there's a vacant room in the scrapyard,
if ya want, it's yours. There's food, TV and a good couch. The only thing is
that you may pass me quite often, since it's my house." He grinned.
"Ah... Thank you." She whispered,
completely bewildered. Rarely in her life had anybody been so trusting and kind
to her.
"Don't. I'll take it from your salary. I
buy the food, you cook. I'm warning you, I eat a lot." He said, in a mock
serious tone.
"I..."
"Do you have a car?" He asked,
playing with a pen thoughtfully.
"No, I..."
"Okay. What time is it?" He pursued,
smiling warmly.
"8" She answered, still not totally
believing that she had found a job, a roof and maybe a friend in less than five
minutes.
"If we leave now, we'll back on time for
the match!" He yelled happily, grabbing his coat.
"Leave?" She stuttered.
"Yeah. We're taking your stuff at the
hotel, then we'll mount a lil' raid on the grocery store, and you'll show me
what you can do in a kitchen!" He stated gleefully.
She followed him, dazed, to his car and sat
silently while he put the radio on and covered it soon with a multi-topic and
incessant chatting.
She hardly found answers to his
questions, and found herself totally unable to initiate any conversation,
though. He noticed it and seemed to talk harder, as to fill the repeated
silences. Suddenly, he stopped. She didn't realize it immediatly, but the
silence became progressively obvious and she looked at him. He seemed in deep
thought, though he was still smiling quietly. He stopped the car in front the
seedy motel, switched off the ignition, but didn't immediatly open the door,
instead, he turned his head so he was looking at her right in the eyes,
studying her startled and confused features.
"Hey... I don't know what you did... But
I won't ask. Everybody deserves a second start, right? So let's just get ya
started, babe!" He grinned. "And before I forgot, if I talk too much,
you can tell me. My friends always tell me to shut up... Ignoramuses!" He
snorted, with a mocking pout, "Oh well... Just don't yank at the braid,
babe!"
She was stunned at first, by his sincerity,
but eventually, she couldn't help but smile at his antics, and found herself
still smiling as she filled the old black bag with her few possessions. Did he
have that effect on everybody? It had to be nervous, but she didn't care. It
had been too long since she had last found herself unable to stop smiling.
Little by little, she managed to get used to
that constant chatting, and by the time they parked in front of the small
grocery, she was smiling brightly and giggling softly at his jokes.
"Here we are!" He huffed with in
satisfied one, "Babylon!"
She shook her head at the comparison and
followed him inside. Here again, her eyes widened as she watched him grab
-basically- everything his hand could reaach. She eyed his lithe form and
wondered how -or more exactly, where- all this food could fit in his body. He
wasn't particularly small or skinny, and she had noticed, as he had rolled his
sleeves, that his arms, and probably the rest of his body were actually slim
but quite muscled and chiselled. But still. Where?
As she was lost in her scientific
considerations, he tapped lightly on her shoulder, gazing at her with a puzzled
look on his features. "Hey... Uhm, Midii. You don't take anthing?"
She blinked at the question, searching an
answer, and before she could find it, he dragged her in the biscuits section.
"So many brands, so little time..."
He sighed. "Which ones do you want?"
She stared at the numerous bags and boxes and
suddenly realized how wasted her life had been until then. She was there, at
the age of sixteen, she had learn to make of hacking computers or obtaining
informations at any cost her priority. She had learn to lie, to analyze, to
manipulate. She had become a professional. And she had forgot to learn how to
live. So, what could be the difference between picking strawberry donuts and
chocolate cookies? She didn't know. And somehow, she felt like it was a part of
the little things which made life great. The little things she had missed.
He gazed at her petrified form in wonder. Had
she ever been in a grocery before?? Eventually, he watched her rise on tiptoe,
her pale and small hand grabbing one of the highest bags. She handed it to him
with a questioning look.
"Can I take that?"
His usual grin came back immediatly, at the
sight of the bag. "Wise choice! You learn fast. But you see, " He
began, reaching the top shelf in his turn, "We're talking about
Twinkies... So we better take two!"
She followed him as they left, smiling softly,
pondering the events of the day, and she could almost have fallen asleep, if it
hadn't been for a long and quite entertaining conversation about one of his
friend, who, from the looks of it, didn't hold the same estime for food as he
did. By the way, she thought, wasn't it painful for a man to be named 'Wuwu'?
They eventually arrived to the scrapyard, and
he led her toward a sort of flat, behind the shop. It was bigger than what she
had expected but unmistakeable. You could tell at the first glance that a
seventeen years old boy lived there. Alone. There was an indescribable mess
covering the floor, the couch. Wherever her eyes landed were clothes,
magazines, food.
He scratched the back of his head, as he
watched her catch sight of her new surroundings, and pick up some clothes
hastily.
"Erm... I'll show you to your room,
'kay?" He said uncomfortably.
He opened a door, next to an oubliette that
could only be his room considering the various items decorating the room, and
they entered. She looked around, as she laid her bag on the bed. It was clean,
definitively feminine, with a pale blue wallpaper and azure blue venetian
blinds, there was an empty wardrobe in the wall and a few shelves. Much more
room than she would ever need, she mused.
He looked at her expectantly. Cleaning had
never been his strong point and he just hoped she wouldn't run away in sheer
terror. She hadn't even seen the fridge yet...
There was an eerie silence in the kitchen as
Midii opened the aforesaid fridge and contemplated silently its contents. Sheer
hell. Was he actually supposed to eat those things?? She took a bottle of milk,
shook it gingerly, and emptied it in the sink, watching the yellow cream pour
heavily with a suspicious look. She knew she didn't want to know when he had
bought it.
She walked in the living room, where he
was bawling and cussing in front of a basket ball match.
"Go! GO! GO!! Show him kid!! N... NO!
Left! Left! N... F***!!!"
"Uhm... Would you allow me to... Erm...
Clean the fridge a bit?" She whispered respectfully, waiting patiently for
his outburst to subside.
He looked up at her with startled eyes. She
smiled. Beginning of round one.
It turned out that, once the painful matter of
the boxers and the burning question of he fridge's contents were solved, it
wasn't that hard to live with somebody. Midii soon found the days shinier than
before. It was actually nice to have somebody to chat with, all day long. The
fact being that, whether it was with a radio or with chatting, Duo Maxwell
couldn't work in silence.
However, she progressively realized that he
often talked for nothing and that the most valuable information concerning him
was actually revealed by his rare moments of silence. And it was exactly one of
those she witnessed when she entered the workshop, a grey Monday morning.
He was sitting quietly in front of a pile of
mails, fingering a blue card with hesitant hands and a contemplative stare.
"What is it?" She asked softly.
He jumped at the sound of her voice, visibly
startled, and turned, plastering his usual grin on his heart-shaped face,
though she could tell he had not been grinning a few seconds ago. "Hey
babe! Don't try it again. It's been two weeks since you arrived, and you're
already tryin' to give me a heart attack! You want to inherit or
something?"
"I'm... sorry." She blushed. "I
had some coffe so I thought..."
"Coffee! Yummy!! Cappuccino?" He
chirped happily.
"Always..." She smiled. "So,
who is it?"
He turned with a surprised look in his eyes,
though he grin was still there. "Who what?"
"The person writing." She murmured,
pointing to the card, feeling like she was prying.
"My best friend!" He grinned.
"Ah..."
"She used to work here with me. But she
left, she lives on Earth now. Bali. Great, eh?" He explained
half-heartedly.
She nodded. "Bali... Why did she go so
far?" She asked, curious about the story, suddenly.
"Well..." He sighed, the grin fading
noticeably. "The usual... Ya know the old refrain. Pretty customer falls
for pretty associate. Pretty associate says no, then says yes. Pretty customer
wants to take her to a better place, preferably in the sun, and 'poof'. Pretty
associate vanishes!" He explained, mimicking a cloud of smoke with his
hands.
She gazed quietly at his violet yes, and the
shadow falling over them, despite the merry summary. "You... Loved
her?" She asked timidly, almost in a whisper.
There was a sad silence in the room at that
instant, and she heard him swallow softly. It was barely audible, but she flt
the answer through it. She immediatly sympathized, though she knew he was far
from being as guilty as she was...
"Oh well, Hilde is better there, turning
golden brown with a fruit juice in each hand!" He grinned, "No one
forgets the God Of Death, anyway!!"
She blinked at his remark, and a question,
that had burned her lips for a while, escaped them. "The God Of Death...
Is it you? ... Why?" She stuttered, beginning to work all the while.
He looked at her with strange eyes, and he
wasn't grinning. His features held an expression of hidden knowledge, old
memories and undefinable wisdom. "Midii Une. Can you keep a secret?"
he asked in a curious and serious tone, yet with a twinge of contentment.
"I've kept secrets... All my life."
She answered, shaking her head slightly.
"Does the word 'Deathscythe' conjure up
anything to that little head of yours?" He smiled mysteriously.
Her eyes widened twice their normal size. She
had seen the word once, and only once, in a hacked file. "G... Gundam
02??"
His smile turned almost ominous. "The God
Of Death is back from hell..." He nodded, playing with a pen.
She observed him carefully. His build could be
one of a MS pilot, but... A Gundam? He noticed her stare and went to dig
something in the sea of objects adorning his desk. He held out a small black
and grey object, and tossed it at her. She caught it. It was heavier than what
it looked. She caressed gingerly the cool metal and stared at him with with
troubled eyes. The dark amethyst pools never left her as she grabbed a small
steel blade he used for the meticulous work. A predatory smile spread on his
handsome features as she approached the blade to the small object and tried to
scratch it, pressing with all her strenghth on the black metal. She, then,
threw the unusable blade aside and gazed at the sleek and perfect untouched
black metal.
"A detonator... A gundanium
detonator." She whispered.
"For a commoner, you seem to know a
lot..." He smirked, "Can you believe I keep this, when it was the
only thing that never worked correctly in my Buddy Deathscythe. The
self-detonating system was crap, I tell you." He sighed, putting his hand
behind his head.
"I won't repeat it." She gasped.
"Nobody would believe you anyway!"
He shrugged, grinning lazily.
"Thank you..." She said.
"For what?" He asked, cocking a
bemused eyebrow.
"For everything, and for trusting
me." She answered, smiling warmly.
"Guess you struck me as the cautious
type. And it's better you know it. I'm not fed up with problems yet, babe, if
you see what I mean!" He winked.
She was working on a new order when the phone
call came. It was an ordinary Sunday afternoon, checking the calendar, she had
realized it had been almost two month since she had first met him and started
to work here. How strange, she could have swore it had been so much longer...
Duo went to answer, and she barely caught a
glimpse of a flying chestnut braid. She had noticed that too... After their
conversation, she had observed attentively his every move, trying to detect
'Shinigami' Underneath Duo Maxwell. And she had discovered it. If his words,
his behavior and his constant bouncing betrayed nothing of his former terrorist
activities, his speed and strength, even in the most usual tasks were no match
to hers, no match to anybody she knew, actually. It didn't frightened her,
though. Of course, when he chased her playfully, she knew he was making it
last, and that the outcome of the fight for the peanut butter jar was obvious,
but she never was truly afraid in his presence, even if her old instincts would
have conclued that it was suicidal to live with an ex-Gundam Pilot.
Lost in her thoughts, she heard him chat
gleefully with somebody, she tried not to listen, considering it would
extremely rude, but she heard despite herslf the last words and a cold chill
ran down her spine.
"Yeah... Tell Wu-wu not to dress in drag
for me... By the way, I'll bring a friend with me! You're gonna adore her
Quatre, she's just like ya! She sez nothing, she thinks a lot and she smiles...
Yeah, what?... Yes, it's a girl and... I hadn't mentioned it??... Well... Now I
have. She works with me at the shop... Yeah... Just wait until you guys meet
her!" He chirped happily.
She froze at his words. Quatre? Not this
Quatre?! She wanted to convince herself that it was just a mere coincidence...
But her rational mind kept yelling at her that the first time she had met
Duo... Was also the first time she had seen 'Quatre'. At the circus. She bit
her lip as hard as she could to stop the tears. And when she heard him called
her from the stairs, she knew exactly what he was going to tell her, and she
hated it.
"Hey babe! Any plans for Friday night?
Wanna go on a picnic? I'll introduce you to my buddies... Well to those who
don't hate women or humanity in general, at least!" He grinned.
She only nodded. No to find a good excuse to
escape it...
She mentally cursed herself as she stared at
her reflection in the bathroom mirror. How could she be so weak?? she had
lied all her life, for God's sake! Why couldn't she just pretend to be ill or
something? Why couldn't she just lie to him? She bowed her head in defeat. Deep
inside, she knew perfectly why. He had been sincere, trusting, friendly with
her. He had told her some of his secrets, and he hadn't flinched when he had
learned she had worked for the Alliance. She couldn't lie to him, it would
feel... Wrong.
Still, she needed a solution, soon. It was
already Thursday night. she felt her chest tighten at the realization. She
couldn't face Nanashi, or Trowa. She couldn't stand to witness their love
either. And she knew all to well that Duo knew what she had done, but she had
avoided to go into details, and he wouldn't forgive anymore when he would learn
about her, about Nanashi, her betrayal... He wouldn't.
She balled her fists. She felt exactly
like this fateful day, in the field, about to loose her only friend, the only,
the last person she could...
"Hey, Midii? Watcha doin'?"
She was cut short in her depressing thoughts
by the familiar tone, but something was different, it wasn't as 'bouncing' as
usual. He seemed tired... No, not tired, she corrected herself, he seemed...
Quiet?
She walked timidly to the source of the noise.
He was in his room. She peered in, knocking softly. He was sitting on the edge
of his bed, clad in his pajamas, which consisted of a pair of black boxers and
a worn white grey Preventers T-shirt, gift of Heero, for his birthday, he had
explained her once with a desperate ironic sigh. But more than everything else,
she immediatly noticed something what she was actually seeing for the first
time. He hadn't braided his hair. She fought to prevent her eyes from widening
or having any exaggerated reaction, as she realized how long it actually was.
She had been accurate in her supposition, however, he was strangely quiet,
smiling as usual, but more softly. His taunting grin had somehow turned in a
wistful, warm smile. She entered the room, and couldn't help but feeling quite
proud, as she noticed that it could almost had been described as 'clean and
tidy'. Almost. But then it was Duo's, after all...
He tapped softly on the matress, gesturing to
her to sit near him, and she did obediently, even though she realized she
should have put on something more than her usual oversized shirt, to keep
'decent'.
Duo gazed at her wordlessly for a while. God.
She was gorgeous. He had to convince himself he could do this. He played with
the brush for a moment, before finally daring and handing it to her.
"Could you... Help me with my hair?"
She bowed her head swiftly to avoid his gaze,
and hide the blush she could feel coming. Why was he asking such a thing? She
couldn't say she had never wanted to. That incredible braid was a patented
'girl-trap' and she was no exception. No matter how friendly and neutral their
relationship could be, when you saw it, you just had to touch it, play with it,
see how long it actually was. It was like wanting to play with a doll. Then why
was she blushing? She was going to have, at long last, the occasion to explore
that endless subject of interrogations. She steeled herself, letting her
curiosity get the best of her, and took the brush from his hand, kneeling
behind him.
He closed his eyes as she began to untangle
the slightly wet brown strands. It felt so good, it had been so long since
anybody had done it for him...
Midii stared at him in wonder. Never, since
she had first met him, had she seen him so calm. He was humming softly with
each movement of the brush and it sounded almost like he was purring. She
caressed the long strands of hair absently, as she worked. It was slightly
glossy, from the recent shampoo, and definitively soft. The delicate scent of a
fruity shampoo permeated the silky chocolate locks, achieving to give to the
moment an eerie sweetness. She started to part the soft mass of hair and
braided it, all the while trying to define the smell of the shampoo. Apple,
maybe? She would have to ask him. As she finished tying the small black rubber
at the end of the braid, he suddenly threw his head back, leaning against her
chest, grinning mischievously.
"Now. Your turn!" He explained,
exchanging their places. She barely had the time to realize it, before he was
behind her. "You braided my hair, I'll braid yours! Everybody should have
a braid, that's what I kept telling Wuwu, but the guy is stubborn..." He
sighed in mock exasperation.
The blush she had succesfully suppressed came
back full force, even brighter than before, as two gentle hands began to brush
her hair, playing with the light blonde locks. Had anybody brushed her hair
before? She couldn't remember, but she was amazed at how strange it actually
felt. It wasn't being physically close like kissing, yet it felt so intimate.
She wondered if he had felt the same, or she was simply making the same mistake
for the second time in her life. She tried to scold herself as he gathered
gently her hair back to braid it. You stupid fool! Do you really think it's
the appropriate time to fall for anybody? Do you think it's appropriate to fall
at all?!
"Done!"
She was snapped out of her rêverie by his
happy statement. She turned to watch herself in the window, it was kinda neat,
actually, it didn't look as good as on him, but she could get used to it. She
fingered the newborn braid with amusement and his hand soon joined hers,
playing with it. This went on a few minutes until a thick silence fell in the
room. She was still grazing her braid, but his hand had progressively left it,
and she swallowed softly, as tentative fingers caressed tenderly her cheek. She
closed her eyes, unable to fully register what was going on, nor to stop him,
and heart began to beat too fast for her own good when she felt his warm breath
in her neck. When had he gotten so close?
She tried desperatly to focus and move
but her body just wouldn't. She felt a delicious shiver run down her spine,
when his lips grazed ever so slightly her ear, and the rest of the world faded
definitively when he talked.
"I... I waited and waited until it was
too late. Until she was gone. I won't repeat the same error twice, I'd rather
you rejected me right now..." He breathed, all trace of humor in his voice
gone. All she could sense was need and sadness.
She felt his arms sneak around her waist and
hold her tightly, yet gently. She didn't move, she merely turned her head to
look at him, her breathing coming in soft gasps. Two warm violet pools bore
into her, charming her like a snake, and her will melted completely when he
slowly closed the distance beween their lips. All she could feel were those
soft lips against hers, moving, tasting.
Duo laid her back on the bed very carefully,
covering her small and pliant body with his. This had to be the closest thing
to heaven, he thought, as he deepened the kiss and felt her respond
tentatively. They both let themselves drift slowly, in a complete physical and
emotional daze. She sighed softly as they parted, never breaking the contact
totally, before their lips met again with more intensity, the previous
tenderness giving way to a rising desire. She felt an explorative hand slide
feverishly under the oversized shirt, calloused fingertips caressing her belly
gently, higher and higher, until they grazed the soft swell of a breast.
And the spell was broken. She realized what
-exactly- they were doing, at the intimattely erotic touch, and pulled away
hastily and awkwardly, pushing his chest as hard she could.
He immediatly retreated, puzzled and
uneasy at the same time, trying to read the source of her discomfort on her
tense features. She had immediatly bowed her head, to avoid any painful
eye-contact, and was fiddling nervously with the hem of her shirt, biting her
lower lip.
"I'm... Sorry." He stuttered,
feeling something tighten painfully in his chest. Maybe he had been to fast...
Whatever it was, the result was obvious, and he felt like hitting himself for
having managed to hurt somebody he cared about. Again.
"I... It's just... We shouldn't!"
She blurted out, before leaving the room as fast as her legs would allow,
slamming the door of her room, before throwing herself on the bed.
She sighed loudly, hissed, sobbed, punched
her pillow, sat up, lied down, rolled on her side, rolled back, throw the
offending pillow, huffed, huffed again... And it did nothing. It seemed she was
addicted to trouble.
Duo let himself fall back on the comforter,
staring at the ceiling. Of course she had left. He had behaved like a moron. He
had meant to be tender, and he had ended pinning her like some horny wuss.
Damn. He remembered the way she had looked at him. There had been trust in her
eyes, and... He hadn't even told her the words.
DamnDamnDamnDamnDamn!!
The following morning, Midii awoke at the
smell of something cooking. She got up, drawn by her curiosity, and entered the
kitchen to find the God Of Death attempting to prepare breakfast. A surprise,
she assessed, since he usually never woke up before her.
He heard her footsteps behind him and turned
with a frying pan full of slowly burning eggs, some carbonized toast and an
apologetic smile. She couldn't help but smile in her turn, and helped him save
the breakfast silently, careful to keep a safe distance between the two of them.
She failed to notice the look of deep hurt in
his eyes as she did so.
The Friday was usually a busy day, and they
were both thankful for it, since the uneasiness that had settled between them
seemed to be growing. Not a single word was uttered during the day, the work
being a suitable pretext to avoid talking or seeing. The words 'night' or
'yesterday' were totally banished of their vocabulary, and when the day ended,
she was still trying to find a way of escape. She couldn't lie to him, she
couldn't tell the truth either, so she found none.
And she found herself sitting in the car,
waiting for her downfall.
The ride to Quatre's house was deadly silent.
She couldn't find the strength to tell him and she couldn't manage to smile
either. Trapped.
Duo observed her carefully. God, he hated
seeing her like this, it reminded him of the first time he had met her, at the
circus, crying and lonely. He would have done anything to make her feel better,
but he sensed that, this time, it would take more than a few jokes to cheer her
up. he felt helpless, and it was all his fault. He should never have touched
her. He had messed up, and now, she probably hated him. She looked so
uncomfortable, all because of him, he thought.
Seeing his worried features, she managed a
small smile as he parked the car. Maybe Trowa wouldn't even recognize her. Why
would he care, after all? He had somebody to love him. Yes, she tried to
convince herself, he had probably forgotten her.
"Maxwell is late." Wufei stated
calmly, glaring at his watch.
"Aww, come on. It's not that bad!"
The blonde arabian replied, pouring him a glass of jasmine tea to ease his
mood. A row with Sally, he supposed, as he observed the seething obsidian eyes
avoiding strategically a pair of smirking blue ones.
"27 minutes." Heero commented,
staring at Relena all the while, half because he still considered it as his
mission, half because the dress she had chosen to attempt the picnic was beyond
any concept of decency, in his opinion.
"Has Maxwell ever been on time,
anyway?" Wufei sighed, sipping his tea.
"Are you that impatient to meet his new
associate?" Trowa smirked, while helping Quatre with the considerable
amount of food he had brought.
The young chinese almost choked at the remark,
which caused Sally's silent smirk to grow even wider, and Relena to turn,
interested by the sudden agitation.
"Trowa... I never knew you could crack a
joke..." Catherine smiled, ignoring Wufei's absolute-death-glare.
Eventually, they heard the familiar screech of
tires which indicated that Duo was the one driving the car, and seven pairs of
eyes stared in curiosity at the blonde young girl carrying a bag of treat,
following a bouncing Duo.
"Now we know how he recruits his
employees..." Sally smiled.
Several knowing smiles welcomed this remark
(Except Wufei, who was pouting to death.) but two emerald eyes observed the
newcomer with a cold and wary look.
Trowa felt his heart beat faster, as he
figure approached. Even in a crowd of blondes, he would have recognized her. He
couldn't be wrong, those pale, almost translucent lavender eyes, the wavy
blonde hair, and that strange expression, the look of someone perpetually lost
in their own life...
The braided Shinigami sat between Quatre and
Wufei with a huff, and held out his hand gingerly to Midii, afraid that she
might refuse to even touch him after what had happened. She took it however,
and plastered on her features a smile that betrayed nothing of her inner
turmoil, to his surprise.
"Everybody! This is my friend and
colleague-"
"Midii Une." Trowa cut Duo coldly.
Midii felt a wave of dizziness sweep over her.
So he hadn't forgot. Then she would face it. She could stand to loose
everything one more time, she thought.
There was an uneasy silence, everybody staring
at Trowa. Had Trowa actually... Glared?
"So... Uh... You guys know each
other?" Duo said, trying to sound detached and happy. But in his mind, the
puzzle was slowly piecing itself together again. The first time he had met her.
the circus. Trowa. All he needed to know was what could have been the link
between the two...
Midii nodded shyly, avoiding his cold stare
and the curious looks she was receiving from the 'assembly' and sat near Duo,
head bowed.
She was afraid that the picnic might turn into
a bloody revenge, but actually, it didn't. They soon found their conversation
again, and the evening was quiet. Duo's friends seemed to have clearly
understood Trowa's silent warning and she was only addressed once or twice
during the dinner, mostly for politeness. She didn't miss a single word of what
was said, however, and she soon found out that Trowa's lover was one of the
nicest persons she had ever met. How ironic. Despite the green-eyed boy's
surprised and reprobative stares, he was one of the only ones to chat casually
with her. He reminded her of Duo, in his sincerity and sweetness, minus the
goofy side, of course, she thought.
She sighed in relief as his friends began to
leave, and she actually thought that the worse consequence would only to be an
outcast for Duo's friends, until he came.
Duo was saying goodbye, trying to exhort his
stern friend, the one he called the 'perfect soldier' to crack a joke, and she
was putting their empty boxes and bags in the car when she saw him, leaning
quietly against the door.
She couldn't help but stare. Even after
all this time, after two broken hearts, she still found him unique. She found
herself unable to tore her gaze from the shimmering emerald eye piercing her,
but his words, made her snap back to the cruel reality.
"You're leaving." He stated calmly,
coldly.
"Y... Yes..." She stuttered,
"Duo said it was late and..."
"No. You're leaving." He
repeated.
The meaning of his words slowly sunk in and
she fought the tears she knew would come. He didn't want her near him, nor near
his friends. It was only logical. She was a spy, a murderer. He was right. But
even with this knowledge, somewhere, in the back of her mind, a little voice
was screaming that it was unfair, that she had the right to try to rebuild her
life too. "Fine." She gasped, "Tomorrow, I'm gone."
"I want you to understand," He said
more softly, "I forgave you, I forgave you long ago, Quatre helped me
achieve this... But it's better we go our separate ways, we would just hurt
each other... I... I jut want to forget you." He finished, his tone not as
cold, almost compassionate.
She took a deep breath, as he walked slowly
away, to find Quatre and pull him in a loose embrace, before they left. He was
right. She couldn't stay. She had desperatly wanted to believe it would work,
but it wouldn't. She couldn't hurt Duo, hurt Trowa... And a tiny selfish part
of her soul told her that she'd rather be alone that suffer anymore herself.
Dead-end relationships, painful explanations, parting, crying. She wouldn't stand
it anymore. It was too hard, too much. She felt bitter tears well up in her
eyes, but somehow, a weak smile managed to appear on her lips. She remembered
his words. He had forgiven her. He hadn't understood her, understood her
motives, he hadn't even respected the life she was trying to rebuild, but he
had meant no harm. He had forgiven her. How ironic to think it could hurt so
much when she had dreamed nights and days of him saying these words. But now,
it didn't make her dream anymore. It was fine, but nothing more. Those weren't
the words she dreamed of, the voice she dreamed of...
Duo watched slowly as he left and she began to
cry. And God... He fought the urge to go and beat him senseless. So he knew
her. So he knew she had done questionable things during the war. And so what??
He didn't have the slimy details, but he knew it too! And there, clownboy came
and just tell her to go away?! He had spoken to her as if she was some
lovestruck stalker! The God Of Death wasn't jealous. No. But still. Who was
that buttmunch to think she was madly in love with him?? He just didn't
understand... Maybe they'd never have something as pure as what him and Quatre
shared... But he knew they would have something... To hell with it! Of course
it would be pure! It was love, eh?
He plastered a playful grin on his features,
as he approached the car. She wouldn't leave, she wasn't stupid enough to
listen to him. And tonight, he would tell her.
When the car finally stopped in front of the
dark scrapyard, Midii had fallen asleep, from sadness and exhaustion combined,
he assessed, considering that she had kept silent during almost all the ride.
She had politely chuckled at his jokes, and answered when he had tried to
initiate some pointless chat, but the heart wasn't in it. He could sense it.
Duo didn't move for a few seconds, reveling in the sight. He found he could get
used to watch her sleep. She was just... Lovely. The way she had curled up on
the seat, the regular sound of her faint and calm breathing. The mere sight of
her seemed to relax him. He picked up gently, carrying him inside the flat,
careful not to wake her up, and laid her precautiously on her bed, taking her
coat and pullover off.
She snuggled in her comforter, as he pulled at
it to slip her under it.
"I guess tonight won't be the confession
night..." He sighed at her sleeping form, half disappointed, half
relieved, since no matter how bold his 'mission' was, he still didn't have the
slightest clue of how he would manage to accomplish it.
He was about to leave, when a weird idea hit
him. Maybe... Maybe it was a good thing she was asleep, after all. He rethought
it and decided himself. In case he wouldn't be brave enough to tell her in the
morning, or in case he seriously messed up, he was going to try... Hypnosis! He
grinned proudly at his find, ignoring the tiny voice bawling with a black
megaphone that he was being pathetic, and leaned close, close enough to whisper
in her ear,
"Hey there... When you'll wake up,
try to remember that... I think this Shinigami dude is in love with
you..."
She only sighed, turning her face towards his,
and he successfully resisted the urge to kiss her elsewhere than on the
forehead. With that, he turned off the lights and left.
Midii awoke well before the artificial sun
rose. She could hear a characteristic snooze in the room next to her, which
indicated that Duo was still asleep. She sighed as she got up. It would be
easier. She looked around her -No. the- room one last time, as she
hastily packed up her few clothes. She had more than when she had arrived, but
still very few earthly possessions, she noticed, as the small black bag was
zipped easily. She made her bed, tiptoed to the kitchen, preparing quickly his
usual breakfeast, and stuck a sheet of paper on the fridge. Reassured by the
regular snoozing, she began to write, with a trembling hand.
What she had done. What she had hidden. Why
she had to go.
She clenched her fists, not wanting to cry
when there wasn't even any farewell to bid, and she left. The morning air felt
cold, for some reason, and she wrapped her arms around herself, shivering as
she walked, then ran to the spaceport.
The huge and clear halls were almost empty.
She glanced at her watch, it wasn't even seven. She approached a vast counter,
behind which a sleepy clerk was slowly trying to awake, with a cup of coffee.
She glanced at the various destinations. The farthest, and that would be it.
The exchange barely lasted a few seconds. She was surprised, in a way. Her
papers were in orders, everything was fine. Fine and easy. She walked slowly to
the rows of seats where she would wait her shuttle, thinking. She wasn't used
to do things so simply. It was odd not to have trouble actually. The thought
made her smile for herself. She waited, gazing sometimes at her feet, sometimes
at the various ads covering the walls. She didn't notice somebody sit near her.
"So. Maybe we should try again from the
start. Hello babe, the name's Duo Maxwell. I may run, I may hide, but I never
tell a lie. That's me in a nutshell!" A weary and calm voice said, trying
obviously to put some joy in the statement.
Her heart almost stopped beating. She didn't
found the force to look at him, or even to answer.
"Quiet babe? I'll talk then. Ya know that
guy... Treize Kushrenada? Did you know that, when he died, he knew the precise
number of soldiers who had fought and died for and because of him?"
She still kept silent. What was he trying to
do?
"I can tell you... I've never counted.
None of us ever did. Not even Quatre... And now you want to blame yourself and
be the villain for the rest of your life?? Tell me, Midii, do you think Trowa
killed less people than you? Do you think he never lied? Just because we had a
cause doesn't excuse everything! So, yes, you didn't have one, yes you knew
what you were doing was bad. And? Do you think any of us ever sincerely
believed it was okay to kill somebody?"
She couldn't help it, she tried to hide the
tears by bowing her head, but she felt them roll on her cheeks, her nose, and
fall on the floor. "But... Trowa..."
"Trowa! Trowa! And me? I told you, I
won't lie. How do you think I felt when I woke up and you were gone?
How?!" He almost shouted.
"I... I don't know..." She sobbed.
"Yeah you do! I was sad! And angry... No,
I was furious!" This time he shouted in earnest, fighting the itching he
felt in his own eyes, ignoring the few people staring at them.
"I'm... sorry!" She burst into
tears, not even bothering with decency.
He watched her, trying to remain cool, until
her sobs died down and her shoulders stopped trembling. "I'm going to have
to use an appalling method to force you to stay." He said more gently, his
smile coming back slowly.
Midii raised her head. She could already
picture herself tied in the trunk or something that would match this.
"Midii. I'm sorry. I love you." He
said softly, looking at her right in the eyes.
The pale blue orbs widened slowly, as the
words sunk in, warming the depths of her numb soul. No... he knew what he was
doing. But he musn't say it. It was too hard, now...
"Well... Doesn't seem like I hit the nail
on the head. Let's try another one. Midii, you've missed your shuttle. You're
stuck with me." He almost grinned.
She couldn't help it. She smiled. "Did I really
missed it?" She whispered.
"I never lie."
"Duo..." Her voice cracked,
"What do I do now?"
"It's up to you... But I suggest you
decide fast before I either kidnap you, or crawl on the floor and beg you to
stay. Now that would be humiliating, wouldn't it?" He smiled
encouragingly.
She stared a the ground, her pale features
revealing the numerous emotions shaking her whole being. Guilt, fear, trust,
pain, hope... Love. She swallowed softly, glancing at him. His handsome form
was turned to the wall, waiting for her to notify him her decision. How coud he
be so kind? Could he be her chance? That little piece of heaven just for her?
"Duo..." She gasped, her voice
barely audible.
"Yes?"
"I wanna go." She whispered, fresh
tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Where?"
"I... I wanna go home..."
She didn't have the time to think, as two
gentle, yet strong arms lifted her off the seat, and she felt herself being
pulled in a tender and crushing hug. She felt a warm breath in her neck, then
in her ear, "That has to be fate..." He breathed, "I was just
thinking I wanted you home..."
She let him cuddle her, kiss her, whisper
tender nonsenses in her ear, as they made their way out of the spaceport. For a
brief moment, though, he saw a shadow fall over her eyes. He didn't need words
to understand what she was thinking about. He caressed her cheek gently with
careful fingertips and turned her chin, so she was facing him. "Hey...
Stop thinking you betrayed Trowa..." He murmured, hiding the twinge of
jaleousy at the thought.
"I..."
"I think He'll be your friend... Anyway,
he already has a technic problem in this domain." He grinned.
She blinked.
"Silence means consent!" He winked.
* Alien III! ^_~ (Though I only saw it in
french, so I can swear the spelling is the right one...)
Sooooooo? Was it bad... Or worse? ;_;
R and R! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzz!!