Shattered
By
Captain Anonymous


Johnnie closed the door behind him, as he walked inside the familiar house. It had been over a week since he had been here, everything still felt the same as the night he left.
He stood for a moment, taking in everything around him, trying to keep his composure.
He heard a sound coming from the kitchen, he listened hearing the soft voices, no one must have noticed him come in.
He walked towards the door, his legs felt like stone.
His whole body felt sore, mentally he felt drained.
He placed his hand on the painted wooden door, he could feel himself breathing deeply as he press his hand on his, the door slid open.

He walked into the room, the smell that morning’s breakfast still lingered in the air. Burned toast, greasy bacon, eggs, black coffee. 

Johnnie scanned the room with his eyes, eventually fixing on the table by the window. Midii sat with Trowa. His hand touched Midii’s as he comforted her that cold morning.
Midii’s face lit up as she looked at her brother.

“Johnnie........You’re home.”
“Yeah.”

Johnnie stood for a moment, feeling the chill in the air. He felt guilt rush into him. Midii not the one he should be upset with. He shouldn’t have been gone so long with out letting her know where he had gone.
“I’m sorry I was gone, I didn’t mean to worry you.”
Midii smiled, just glad to see him, “No, its all right now. You’re here.”
Johnnie sat down at the table across from his sister and her husband. He glanced down at the two cups of coffee that were placed on the table.

“I wanted to talk to you again. I’ve been thinking about this, been thinking a lot about it. I’m sure what the right way for me to feel is. The more I think about all this, the more angry I get.”
Johnnie feel silent, he looked at his sister.

Midii could feel Trowa’s warm hand against hers, “I felt the same way when I found her. I know how much she’s hurt all of us in the past.”
Johnnie didn’t make eye contact, he stared at the coffee cup on the table, looking into the dark liquid.
“What made you feel that way? Why did you have to forgive her, after all this time?”
Midii said softly, “I’ve been living the past, for the first time in years, I’ve gotten to look towards the future. I don’t want to hold on to that anger any more. I want to understand how she felt, I want to find who she was. We were a family once.”
“Once we were, yes. But, things change.”
“I know, but I don’t want to live with this anger anymore. Somewhere I know inside of her is the cousin we once knew. I wanted to understand to why, what happened, how she felt.”
Trowa spoke softly, closing his eyes, “Holding on to anger can lead one to lose whats important. You might not see it just now, but you could end up hurting the ones that you really love.”

Johnnie said slowly, “You wanted to forgive her.”
Midii looked at her brother feeling some hope, that maybe he would understand. “Yes.”
“Midii......People like her never change. She can’t. She won.’t. It doesn’t matter what she said.”
Midii could feel her heart sink inside of her. 
Johnnie stood from the table, resting his hands on the smooth wood, “Midii, she was the one who left us. She didn’t give a damn about us before, and what the hell makes you think she would start now?”
Johnnie began to start losing his composure, the emotions that he dwelled on were coming to the surface. 
“She gave us up for Trieze Khushrenada. She sold her soul to him. She was murderer just like he was!”
Midii looked away from her brother as he stood from the table, walking to window. She could feel Trowa move his right hand away from hers, down to his side, below the table. She squeezed his left hand.
“After all she did to us, do think she loves us? Do you think that she’s able to love any one in her perverse mind?”
Midii said, “I believe that she is still the kind caring person she used to be, deep inside of her.”
Johnnie could feel the tension growing inside of him, the words flowed out of him, he didn’t think, it was raw anger that came out of him.
Johnnie slammed his hands down against the table, “Its because of her we’re in soaked blood!”
Johnnie stood silent for a moment, breathing heavily. He didn’t want this to happen, Midii wasn’t the one he was angry with. 
Trowa sat still, holding Midii’s hand, staring at Johnnie with his cold stare. 
Midii sat silently, there anything for her to say. What could she have said.
Johnnie cleared his throat and waited for a moment. He spoke in a softer tone, “I’m sorry Midii, I didn’t mean to get upset with you. Midii, your my sister........I do love you. I’ve gone so long protecting you, and our  I don’t want to see you get hurt by La again. Please, I don’t want to see you hurt. I’ve got to find out for myself. I’ve got to cleanse myself of this pain.”
Midii could her pain in his voice now, the same pain that had been masked by his anger.

Midii squeezed Trowa’s hand lightly, as she wiped the tear drops from her face.
“Johnnie.......”

“I’m sorry Midii. I’d like to go and get some rest now. It’s been a while since I’ve had a decent night sleep.”
“Of course, I’ll be here, we can talk again later if you want.”
Trowa looked at his wife, waiting with her.

----------

Johnnie slowly walked up the stairs to his room, feeling his legs as they felt like stone.
He sat alone in his room, looking at his reflection in the mirror.
The way his face looked, the words still were fresh on his soul. 
He knew he shouldn’t have gotten mad at Midii, he knew that he shouldn’t have yelled. The emotions and anger got the better of him. He couldn’t control himself. His hands were shaking.
He stared at his reflection,  he hated the person staring back at him.

What was he to believe in?

He would have to find out for himself, what Lady’s intentions were, if Midii was right. He wasn’t going to let her hurt Midii, and take away thier new life. Midii had a new life, she had a family now. Maybe that was why she couldn’t see through Lady. 
He would do anything to protect her, and his brothers.
He wasn’t going to let Lady hurt any of them.
Even if it meant soaking himself in her blood.

To be continued........