Disclaimer: GW not mine.  …I was reading over my comments in the last chapter…heh…I did say that it would be finished before Christmas! You guys just probably didn’t think it would be next Christmas… O_o   sorry! On with the story then!

No Red Letters!

A GW Christmas Tale…

Chapter Four:  Be thankful that Christmas only comes once a year…It takes a whole year to recover!

By: J.B. Santiago

Duo choked on his chocolate strawberry thickshake. What the hell was Dorothy Catalonia doing in a department store?!  Before he could gape any further, Trowa spoke.

"That's not Dorothy."

'Green eyes, a happy smile.' Duo felt silly, "Heh! Sorry! Of course you're not her! You're smiling!" He shook his head. 'Fooled by those eyebrows!'

Bethany stared at the two men in confusion. 'Must be some of Dorothy's friends! I knew she had some!'

"Hi!" Bethany extended out her hand to Duo, who wiped his bean-burrito stained hands on the sides of his pants before shaking hands.  "I'm Bethany Montague! You know Dorothy Catalonia? She's my cousin!"

"I'm Duo Maxwell, and this ever perceptive one is Trowa Barton."  Duo replied.  "I didn't know Dorothy had anymore relatives," thinking that Mariameia was the only one.

Bethany nodded eagerly, "We're first cousins.  She's here right now looking for a gift for Relena."

"Dorothy's here? I wanna see that!" Duo said, chuckling at the thought of Miss-high-and-mighty jostling with the 'commoners'.

"Are you shopping for gifts as well?" By now, Duo had cleared away enough room for Bethany to join the two of them at the round table.

Duo shook his head, "But Trowa here was just about to go find something in the jewellery store."

Bethany smiled at Trowa, not noticing that he was critically observing her.  "Oooh…Jewellery. I love jewellery! Need any help?"

Trowa was about to reply with a negative when Duo cut in. "Hey, Good idea! He's getting a gift for his girlfriend.  It would be good to get a woman's opini - yeow!" Duo bent over to rub the shin Trowa had just kicked. 

Bethany saw the look that passed between the two.  She got the impression that Trowa didn't seem to like her…Why?  An idea popped into her head.  "Did you and Dorothy date?"

Thickshake sprayed everywhere as Duo howled with laughter.  Trowa glared at Bethany, already blaming her for now wrecking his only other good pair of tight jeans.  "No.  We didn't date."

"Oh - God! …That's - so - funny!" Duo wheezed out, slapping his fists hard on the table.  Several tables around them had already been cleared; shoppers didn't like the idea of getting bits of thickshake and burrito on their clothes.

"Oh." Bethany shrank back from the glare, amazingly missing out on being hit by Hurricane Duo.  'Well if that's not it…then…'

"You and Dorothy don't get along!" She seemed rather pleased that she figured it out so easily.

Trowa gave her a blank look.  "We don't even know if you are who you say you are."

"Yeah, buddy.  She could be an undercover reporter for the Cinq Tabloids, hellbent on putting you and Dorothy together JUST to wreck your happy future with your girlfriend, Miss Une!"  Duo rolled his eyes, "Oh c'mon Trowa! Lighten up! It's the season to be merry or something…I'm sure Bethany is who she says she is." He smiled at her encouragingly.

"Hey! I can prove it!" Bethany whipped out her wallet that had those plastic covers meant for cards but she had put pictures in them instead.  "See?  This is me and Dory when I was two…Here's one when I was four…oh! And this is so cute! Dory and me in the kiddy pool at five!"

In the back of his mind, Trowa felt rather embarrassed for Dorothy.  Thank god Catherine had no baby pictures of him to show around.  Duo on the other hand, was already planning to copy them and blow them up, to show for the next ball…especially the one where Dorothy's 7 years old, in a yellow polka dotted bikini in the kiddy pool.

"I have more recent photos! These one's we took in those passport booths.  I had to drag her in; she hates having her photo taken." Bethany stated matter-of-factly.  She smiled at Trowa again, trying to see a change in his demeanour.  Trowa couldn't believe he was actually starting to feel sorry for Dorothy of all people.  He reminded himself to get Catherine another gift, to remind her NOT to show embarrassing pictures of himself.

"Ok fine.  You can come with us."  Trowa nodded, his mind rationalising his decision.  So she was Dorothy's cousin; she didn't look like she was someone planning to take over the world - more like Duo in a candy store...how dangerous could that be?

If Bethany could smile wider her face would have cracked.  'It would be so fun to get to know Dorothy's friends better…AND find a gift for Lady Une as well!  She had gotten a gift for Mariamiea but had forgotten about Mariamiea's guardian.  With Trowa knowing much more about her, it would be the perfect time to get the perfect gift!' She thought. 

So off they went, to the jewellery section, stopping over at the Koldak Photoshop (at Duo's insistence) to check the prices of getting photos blown up to the size of a billboard.

                                                                                                                                              ***************************

CRASH!  The smell of plastic melting and wires sparking of each other were heard.

"Ow…" Quatre shifted slightly, his legs had managed to tangle themselves into the power cords that were lighting up the display in front of him. 

"Get off." A voice muffled out from underneath him.  Quatre's eyes widened remembering what he had seen just before he tripped on the cords and tumbled over the short picket fence surrounding the Christmas display.

"Dorothy?! Are you okay?" He tried to get up and help her up as well but instead his arm somehow got caught in the display and he ended up toppling over her again.

"Argh! Get off!" Dorothy had wriggled out from underneath him, her foot still caught up in the power cords but she had enough balance to stand leaning heavily against the display.

"Sorry! Are you ok?" Quatre looked desperately apologetic as he tried to shake off the tinsel that had come off the display and was now covering him.  He held out his hand to her but she batted it away.

Dorothy herself was covered with shiny bits of Christmas decorations.  She pulled out an annoying piece of plastic pine lodged in her golden tresses.  "I'm fine.  Next time you decide to take a trip, Mr. Winner, don't take me with you."  She glared at him and he tried to offer another apologetic smile before offering his hand again to help her out of the display.  Before she could accept or refuse a little boy holding his mother's hand pointed in their direction and said, "Mommy! Mommy! Is Santa ok!?"

Both of them simultaneously looked at the boy, then at each other and then at the display behind them.  There sitting in a high backed, walnut coloured chair was a plastic Santa Claus…only this Santa was missing its head.  Wires protruded from the base of the neck and black smoke was slowly wafting upwards.

"Oh no…" Quatre gasped before he rushed to the now headless Santa Claus and began to drag him into the brightly lit Santa's Workshop behind the high backed, walnut chair.

"What are you doing?!" exclaimed an incredulous Dorothy, who was turning red not just from the heat of the light bulbs everywhere but from the shoppers who were now milling around the display looking at them like they were the newest zoo exhibit.

"Just get the head!"

Exclaiming indignantly but picking up Santa's head, mainly to get out of the shoppers gaze than to obey Quatre, she followed him into Santa's Workshop, where the main controls for the display were situated.  Quatre placed the robotic Santa on the ground and examined the robotic head in Dorothy's hands.

"How are we going to fix this?" He murmured.

"We?  YOU'RE the one who decapitated Santa in the first place!" Dorothy huffed.  The workshop was like a sauna, since the generator was in there.  She could hear the mutterings of the crowd outside who were trying to peek through the spray-painted-tinsel-covered windows.  She didn't want to go out there until the crowd went back to frantic shopping.

Before Quatre could retort back, the plastic door sung open and someone poked their head in.

"Sir, ma'am, you'll have to come with me." Said the burly security guard.

"What?  It was an accident!" exclaimed an exasperated Quatre.

"Why do I need to come with you? It was his fault!" Dorothy glared at Quatre who glared back; the only thing separating them was Santa's head (whose eyes were blinking rather scarily).

"My fault?! If you hadn't - "

"Please sir, ma'am.  You can come with me quietly or I'll make a public spectacle of you both." Said the security guard firmly.

Dorothy doubted they could make an even bigger spectacle of themselves but she wasn't about to be outdone by Quatre.  "Fine I'll go with you."  She couldn't resist sticking out her tongue at Quatre who restrained himself from doing the same.  They followed the guard amid the stares of shoppers who pushed their children behind them as they walked to the staff elevator; they were on level eight before they knew it. 

The two blondes sat side by side in silence while they waited for the store manager to appear.  Quatre discreetly surveyed his unlikely accomplice.  She wasn't carrying any packages and she didn't look like she had spent very long at the department store.  He knew under the delicate features was hiding an indomitable spirit.

Dorothy subconsciously straightened up.  She had a feeling Quatre was looking at her, not that she wanted him to or anything…'Argh! Stop thinking about him! You're supposed to be angry!' She raised her head slightly higher; the perfect pose of rich snobbery.

"Sir these two customers damaged one of the Christmas displays," Explained the security guard to the store manager who had just walked in and had looked like he had just come back from refereeing a deathmatch.

The manager smoothed his hair and beard and sat down behind his desk, where he fumbled around a bit until he found his nameplate (It said J.C. Joseph).  Mr Joseph looked at the two with disapproving stares.

"Do you know how much damage you've caused to one of our most beloved displays?" he began, "Not to mention the stress you've caused countless children who saw you decapitate Santa Claus."

Quatre and Dorothy started to protest but Mr Joseph raised a hand to silence them.  "I'm going to have to ask you to pay for the damages and insist that you never shop here again."

"Gladly." Dorothy muttered darkly.

Mr Joseph ignored the comment while Quatre took out his wallet and was about to ask 'do you take cheques' when another security guard walked in and halted in surprise.

"Hey! Don't let him escape! He's stolen packages from level four."

Before Quatre knew what was going on he was lying face down with a knee in his back.

"Yeow! Hey! Ow!" Quatre struggled in vain as the three-times-heavier security guard pinned him to the floor. "Dorothy! Help!"

Dorothy knew that smirking at a time like this was just adding to her colder than ice image but she couldn't help it.  This was not something you saw everyday, after all.  "Um, excuse me.  I think you've made a mistake.  There's no way Quatre Winner would be stealing packages." Well there's my good deed for the year, she thought sarcastically.

The security guard looked at her evenly and said, "Sorry ma'am but he fits the description.  Tall, blond, blue eyed wearing a red reindeer sweater with gold embroidery and khaki slacks."

Dorothy was about to protest when she realised she had heard that description before.  Mentally slapping her hand on her forehead, she remembered Bethany saying the exact same description only she had used the words 'cute' and 'hot' as well.  'Quatre can't be the guy Bethany bumped into…then again who would wear that hideous sweater?' Her thoughts were interrupted when an irate woman in her mid forties and clearly not aging gracefully, flounced in, a security guard trailing after her.  She amazingly ignored Quatre being pinned to the ground and was about to head straight for the store manager when she spotted Dorothy standing to the side of the desk.

"YOU!" The woman lunged at Dorothy who deftly sidestepped only to somehow topple over the security guard who was sitting on Quatre.  A very loud 'oof' and groan was heard as Quatre swore that he must have broken his ribcage while Dorothy outraged at the comment that implied she was 'heavy' enough to break his ribcage began to advance towards Quatre but was being held back by a security guard who was also trying to keep an irate middle-aged woman at bay as well.

At time like these J.C. Joseph wondered if someone in the cosmos somewhere was having one gigantic laugh at him.  'Next time, go to the Caribbean when the Christmas season starts.' He thought.  He took out his gold plated gavel (inscribed 'To my son, use it well') and banged it against his desk, giving everything on it a little jump as well as everyone else in the room.  Savouring the silence for a few precious moments, he pointed to the middle-aged woman.  "You.  Why are you trying to hurt her?" (he used his gavel to point at Dorothy who was trying to glare at everyone).

"She hit me over the head with a bag and took off with the last of the 'singing reindeer'!"

"I did no such thing!" Dorothy yelled, but Mr Joseph banged the gavel down again and everyone quietened.

Quatre was kneeling on the floor, desperately trying to go unnoticed as he slowly pushed the bag containing the singing reindeer under the couch beside him.

"What's in that bag, young man?" Mr Joseph could see a guilty face miles away, and Quatre's face was projecting 'guilty' like there was no tomorrow.

"Ummm…Well, you see…" The security guard lifted Quatre and the bag up from the floor and Quatre gave the bag to Mr Joseph.

"Singing reindeer…one of our best sellers.  Do you have the receipt for this?"

"No but if you just let me explain - "

"See! They're all in this together!" the middle-aged woman jumped in.

"I didn't take those damn - " Dorothy shook her fist at the woman.

"Then who did?" Mr Joseph asked calmly.  Dorothy clenched her teeth together.  She wasn't about to implement her cousin.

"Hey…wait a minute…your eyebrows are darker…" The woman squinted at Dorothy, "…Your clothes…You didn't hit me on the head, that girl that was with you did!"

'Well there goes the idea of keeping Bethany out of this.' Dorothy thought gloomily.  'I'm going to slaughter her when I see her.'

"Ok ma'am, please follow one of our security guards down to level seven.  You'll be able to pay for this - " Mr Joseph gave the middle aged woman the bag with the singing reindeer, " - And you two are going to the ‘timeout’ area."

"What?!  You can't do this to me?!  I'm Dorothy Catalonia!"

"I don't care if you're the President of the ESUN!  You have not only been caught damaging our displays but you and your accomplice," he pointed to Quatre, "have been caught red handed in a shoplifting scam.  When we find this ringleader of yours (re: Bethany) you're going straight to gaol!" Mr Joseph shook his head in dismay, "You're lucky that lady didn't press charges of assault."  As the two blondes were led away, he sighed to himself.  What was the world coming to?  Such young people and on Christmas Eve too…

                                                                                                                                              *********************************

Hilde fumed.  She was sitting in a 'timeout' area (in reality a storeroom converted into a makeshift prison cell) while that ingrate of a woman sat on the opposite side of the room, the only things separating them were stacks of boxes.

Midii glared back at that woman with the dark hair that briefly made her think of Trowa but concluded that Trowa was a hundred times better than that woman.

Hilde wondered if she could throw her shoe at this distance at that woman without hitting the boxes.  Then she thought against it.  Why waste a good shoe on such a woman?  If Duo were here, he'd have thought of a way of getting back at the pasty-faced woman.

Midii checked her cell phone for the hundredth time, the phone still registering no reception.  She sighed and continued her glaring contest with the woman on the other side.

She couldn't take the icy silence anymore.

"It was my dress." Both of them said at the same time.  Hilde and Midii stared at each other before Hilde let out a giggle.  Midii's features relaxed into a half smile.

Hilde went around the boxes separating them and introduced herself.  "I'm Hilde Schbeiker-Maxwell."

Midii shook the offered hand.  "Midii Une."

"So… Why did you need the ball gown?"

"My luggage was damaged on the flight over here from L3."

"Really? Me too! I mean, my luggage was damaged but I came from L2."

A more comfortable silence fell on them.  Now that they had something in common, it wasn't as awkward.  "Did you fly with Cinq Airlines?"

Midii nodded in confirmation.  "I arrived about two hours ago."

"We must have missed you by half an hour.  I don't think I'll be flying with Cinq Airlines any time soon."

'I've been banned from flying with them.' Midii silently added.  This Hilde person wasn't so bad; she contributed the snippy-ness to the stressful holiday atmosphere.

"Agreed.  Airlines these days." They shook their heads at the same time.  Midii thought she would broach the subject that put them in this 'timeout' area in the first place.

"That dress would have looked great on you, Hilde.  Your hair isn't stringy at all."

Hilde disagreed vehemently.  "No, no, it would have looked beautiful on you.  With your spotless skin and blond hair.  It definitely would've have looked better on you." 

"No it wouldn't. It would have looked better on you."

"Don't be silly, Midii."

"I'm not being silly, it would've looked better on you."

"No."

"Yes."

"No it wouldn't have!"

"Yes it would've!"

“Listen! It would have looked better on you!”

“FINE!”

The two women found themselves squaring off against each other before they both realised what they were doing.  Midii giggled and before long the two of them were sitting on the floor laughing at their childish behaviour.

"Hilde lets just disagree to agree." Midii said, between wheezing.

"I disagree." Hilde giggled back. 

"God, this season is twisted."

"Agreed.  If only my suitcase wasn't damaged, I wouldn't be in this crazy place."

"Tell me about.  If I ever get my hands on who damaged my suitcase…" Midii pretended to strangle the person who had wrecked her suitcase.

"Hmmm… I'll join you." Hilde, fully relaxed now, searched through her pockets for a candy cane Duo had put in her jacket.  "Want some?"

Midii took the hook part of the candy cane Hilde had snapped in half.  "Thanks.  How long are you going to be on Earth for?"

"A little under two weeks.  We're staying at a friends place.  I wish we could stay longer but we have a business to run on L2.  How about you?"

"Really? So am I.  Only I'm staying at my boyfriend's friend's house.  Heh, what a mouthful.  And I don't have a business on L3, I'm a freelance investigator and since my boyfriend's in the circus, it suits us pretty well."

Noticing the slight change in her demeanour when Midii mentioned her boyfriend's friends, Hilde guessed, "You haven't met your boyfriend's friends, right?"

A surprised look graced Midii's face.  "Am I that easy to read?"

"No, it's just I know the feeling.  When I first met my husband's friends I was a nervous wreck.  I'm serious!" Hilde nodded, "They're the nicest people though.  You say your boyfriend is from the circus?  He's friends are probably very open-minded people."

"They're not circus people though."

Before Hilde could continue a loud thump was heard on the wall they were leaning on.  Pressing their ears against the smooth surface they listened.

            *********************************

Wufei was annoyed.  No, that was a lie.  He was more stark raving, homicidally mad.  He was sitting in a department store 'timeout' area and the only thing keeping him company was Sally's Christmas gift.  He was in this hellhole because of it.  Wufei glared at the offending, now unwrapped gift.  Sitting opposite him on top of a pile of stacked empty boxes was a brightly decorated figurine that said, "Don't be a humbug".  Only he had managed to break it since it wouldn't stop saying, "Don't be a humbug."  So far he had somehow controlled the urge to hurl the gift straight into the wall.  A soft beeping sounded, and Wufei glanced at his watch.  The time indicated that the boy in the auto shop had just changed shift. 

"Great! Just great!" He kicked an empty box for good measure.  If someone bought that scooter, Heero would kill him.  Relena would tell Lady Une.  Just the thought of the Preventers finding out he drove around in a pale pink Vespa was too much for him to bear.

"Don't be a humbug, don't be a humbug, don't be a humbug, don't be a hum - "

Wufei covered the little speaker with his hand, still careful not to break it.  It muffled the sound slightly but he could still hear it.  It was beginning to sound like Sally's voice.

"Damn you Sally!" Wufei was definitely not going to get her a gift now.  If he could just get out of this stinking place and scream at her in person.  Pacing back to the door out, his shin knocked against something protruding from a box momentarily causing him to over balance and the gift flew out of his hand.  He belly dived for it, knocking down a whole stack of boxes against the wall.

"Gotcha." He held the still speaking figurine.  He's elation at a superb catch was short-lived however when the boxes he had bumped into did a poor imitation of the leaning Tower of Pisa before succumbing to gravity.

"Ahh!" And a few Chinese expletives and kicking and punching of empty boxes later, Wufei emerged from the din, the figurine still cupped in his hand.  An odd glint shone in his eyes, raising his arms to the ceiling he yelled at it, "Come on!  Bring IT ON!  Is that all you can throw at ME?! I am Chang WUFEI!  I am the DRAGON! You can't defeat me!!"

"Wufei?"

Wufei stumbled back and landed on his backside at the sound of the muffled voice from above.  'No wait…It sounded like it was coming from behind the door…'

Quatre and Dorothy were pushed lightly into the room by the security guard before the door slammed in their faces.  A crazy looking Wufei was sitting in the middle of it, tightly holding a brightly coloured figurine in his hand.

"Wufei! Why are you in here?" Quatre looked at the mess surrounding his friend and wondered if he had asked a stupid question.

"I am the dragon?  I am the dragon? If only more people could have heard you!" Dorothy said melodramatically, placing a hand on her forehead in mock faint.

Getting up, gingerly he glared at Dorothy.  "What are YOU doing in here, hmm?"

Dorothy glared back, all mock out of her.  Quatre started counting back from 100 in Arabic.  His situation just got a whole lot worse.

            **********************************

Heero was getting dizzy from all the different gowns Relena had paraded in front of him.  He couldn't tell the difference between chiffon and cotton but she still insisted on his opinion.  How many more "hn's" could he say before she realised his inability?

Relena was of course oblivious to her Heero's plight.  "None of them right." She murmured to herself.  Maybe that black taffeta… Her thoughts stopped as she glimpsed a little red number in the far end of level three.  And she was off.  Heero barely had time to move as Relena whizzed past customers with expert skill that made Heero wonder how she would have done piloting a mobile suit.  Reaching her intended target in no time, Heero concluded, she would have done very well indeed.

"Heero!  This one! What do you think? It feels so soft!" She semi-twirled with it admiring the way it looked against her skin.  "It would be perfect against the white decorations."

Heero agreed whole-heartedly. Now this dress was perfect for her. “It’s perfect.  Should I get the sales assistant?” Hinting heavily, on how much he really wanted to get out of this place.

“I’m trying it on first!”

Heero sighed as Relena did another dash and was gone.  He really didn’t like the holiday season at all.  A slight clunk was heard as a bag that had been leaning against the wall fell forward.  Heero, immediately suspicious and making sure Relena was still a good 20 metres away in the Change Rooms; carefully nudged the bag with his foot.  A doll’s head rolled out.  Now Heero being the big brave Gundam Pilot and all, will never admit that he jumped back in surprise at the scary doll’s head with blue eyes that were supposed to be closed, looked up at him.  Assessing that there was no danger, he quickly put back the doll’s head in the bag and headed towards the change rooms.

“Heero, what’s that?” Relena had just come out of the rooms, holding the gown possessively.

“Someone left this package behind the gown you were holding.  A porcelain doll, looks to have been damaged.” Heero stated.

Relena nodded, “We’ll bring it back to the info desk once I pay for this gown.”

With that, Relena bought that beautiful red off the shoulder gown, returned the broken doll to the info desk and Heero drove them away from Cinq’s largest department store.

“It’s snowing quite a bit now, Heero.” Relena sighed happily holding her boxed gown tightly while staring at the falling snow on the highway.  “Hopefully it’ll stop soon.  I would hate to drive to the Mansion in this weather.”

          *************************************

Person who is utterly amazed at the moment:

I finished another chapter!!! O_o Will it take me until NEXT Christmas to write the next one?? Tune in to find out! Hehe, I’m kidding!! I have the other chappy nearly finished!

*…That’s what she said last time* ^_~

R&R C&C all that stuffy!!