Okay, I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters. So don't sue me or anything....

Gundam Wing: Raptures of Paradise
Chapter 2----------Silent as a Shadow with the Voice of Destiny
By Sailor Celaeno

Always in the shadows. That was what he wanted. He didn't want her to know he was there. He was never far from her. That was what he wanted. Not to have her know that he was watching. She would only get hurt. Not by assassins or rebel groups, but by HIM. He couldn't do that to her. That was his way.
Heero was that sort. The Perfect Soldier. He was no fool. He could tell how interested Princess Relena had been towards him. It was as obvious to anyone that he had fascinated her. His mysterious ways, his brooding nature, his secretive life. How she would think of him for hours. Just wondering where he was. Wondering if she would ever see him again. That was the way things were before the Eve Wars got into it's bloodiest.
Now, he could clearly see that she was a woman. She no longer had the time to chase and daydream over him. She became Princess of the Sanc Kingdom. She had a country to rule, and a world to save. She had more important things to think of. It was better off for the both of them. That was what Heero told to himself. It became a new mantra for him. He was always the loner, but he knew that there were other people that cared a great deal for the fate of Humanity as much as he did. He would often think about how his life had changed in such a short time.

Never was it said that he was a very easy person to understand. He had been trained, and drilled into the Perfect Soldier. There was no turning back for him. He had one clear mission: destroy all those that threatened the Colonies. Eliminate all those that stood in his way. Relena. She was a distraction. She knew too much about him. Worrying about her revealing him was too much on his mind. The simplest solution: eliminate her.
But one brief moment as he was fighting off an OZ attack on the school they were both attending, he saved her from a collapsing fragment. It was a hazy moment. It was a feeling, almost like a voice, a gentle spoken woman. Telling him. "Don't let her die. THAT is your mission." That voice was so calming and persuasive; he immediately obeyed it without a second thought. He was taught never second-guess yourself. He sentenced Relena Darlian to death after some consideration. Yet in less than a split-second, he made a decision to save her.
After that moment, he began to dream. It was a few days after he saved Relena. "Why the Hell did I save her? She is a threat to me. She must die. Those who see the face of a Gundam must not live to tell about it."
"Is that really true Heero?" That voice. That kind, gentle voice called to him. He was in a darkened place, the deepest recess of his own consciousness. Then a light appeared as the voice spoke so softly. He turned to stare into the light. He squinted at that warm, brilliant light.
"Such a beautiful thing to see," he found himself saying. It was the most heavenly thing to feel such calm and serenity in that light, and in that voice.
"Must all people die? Must all the people you meet die because of the orders of those that you have not even seen?" asked the voice.
"Who are you?" he shouted at that ethereal being.
"I'm whatever you think I am. And even more than that. What is more important is that, you understand one thing. Never think for a second that being merciful is ever weak. You have been trained to be the Perfect Soldier, a killing machine that is capable of destroying people without even the slightest thought of it."
"That is who I am. I am Heero Yuy!" he shouted. He had to fight that voice. That voice was his enemy. But he saw he had no gun with him. All he had was his words. "I'm a soldier, I obey all orders given to me."
"You are NOT Heero Yuy! You are the pilot of Wing Zero, a cold, calculating soldier, sent to destroy all those that stand in the way of his mission. That is all that you are. You have completely lost your humanity, Heero. Have you killed and destroyed so much that you have forgotten that there is more to life than war? War is bloody, and people suffer because of it. Have you destroyed so much that you have forgotten? Have you forgotten that all those you destroy are not just faceless, no-names? They are living, flesh and blood people. They have lives that you know nothing of. They are just as worthy of existence as you."
"Those that I killed were enemies. They threaten the people of the colonies, and they work for scum like OZ and Romefeller. Seeking to dominate those who are weaker than they! They are weak fools, who deserve to die for the sins that they agreed to share in." Heero glared at the light despite its brilliant intensity.
"What about the little girl on that ship you destroyed?" That light hit a nerve. Back then, he was still new to the whole Gundam Pilot business. He had been assigned to destroy a ship, when a little girl asked him if he was lost. He allowed the bomb to go off, knowing there were innocent people, like that girl, on board. All dying for a senseless war, wasted blood scattered and spilled in outer space.
"What do you want from me?" At another point in his life, like when he was a child, he would have broken down in tears. He realized what the light was saying. It... she wasn't so far off from the truth about him.
"All I want you to know is that, you must remember that not every order has to be followed. Wars are not always started by greedy, power-hungry, old men. Sometimes, blood must be shed. But just make sure that the bloodshed was not in vain. Make sure it was worth being shed." The light faded as he awoke.

From that moment he looked at everything. He changed ever so slightly. He remained the stoic soldier, but he knew that he couldn't go about like he once had. He never was THAT Heero ever again. But he did think about that dream every once in a while. Just who was that voice? It said, "I'm whatever you think I am. And even more than that." He had thought about that on occasion. He was always going about his normal routines. Yet, on those quiet moments, his mind drifted back to that dream. It wasn't until after the Eve Wars ended that he finally understood what that voice, who it was.
He thought it was conscience. After all who said that your conscience had to be the same sex as yourself. But then he thought about it. As much as he thought about the psychology and philosophy of war, there was no way that he would have thought about things in the POV that this voice did. He was never much of a spiritual person, yet how could he have conceived or personified his conscience in the form of an ethereal light with such a gentle woman's voice? Then he knew. That same voice told him that protecting Relena was his mission. Never in a thousand years would he have thought to protect her. Perhaps save her life that one time. But not to dedicate the rest of his time to watch out for her.
When it became clear that Relena was the new symbol of peace, he knew how true those words that light said. It became clear. That voice was NOT his conscience. It was the voice of Destiny. And she had a face just as real as any other person. He remembered that crazy adventure he and the other pilots had over a year ago. Two strange women appeared and gave them a mission. "We called on your help because we have no doubt you can save our princess and her friends," said the silver woman with her sheathed swords.
"If her friends are anything like you, then why would you need our help?" retorted Heero. He had a princess to watch himself and was far from concerned to watch over another one. Especially if she had these two women to watch her. He was no fool and could clearly see these women were powerful. The energy that surrounded them was like nothing that he had ever felt.
"Something has happened. I don't have time to explain. We are getting weaker by the minute. If you don't help us, then your universe will be destroyed just as ours will," pleaded the Silver woman, who dressed in a sailor fuku.
"How?" he asked
"We have a dangerous enemy in our universe. It has found a weakness in our ability to defend our world. Now we are severely weakened and only Pluto," she referred to the other woman, "are able to fight them. We are only two women. They are sending masses of soldiers to fight us."
He sighed. "What do you expect from me?"
"I expect that you will be able to accept something from Destiny when she knocks on your door."
The way this silver woman said 'destiny' struck him immediately. It was her! That was the voice that stopped him from destroying Relena. "You? You are destiny?"
She smiled. "In a way. Will you accept this mission?"
Heero thought for a moment. "Mission accepted." He met strange teenagers from another universe. They were brave and ready to fight, but they lacked the power they once had to fight those monsters. Monsters from a dark dimension that sought to destroy them all. They were able to go back in time to prevent the wanton destruction that led to Heero and the others into the alternate universe.
The last thought he had in that universe was the pain from being impaled with a crystal shard. He woke up to find himself in his apartment. He found out that it was only an hour since that Sailor Celaeno and Sailor Pluto had visited him. Even though his wounds were gone, he still felt achy. "Was it all a dream?"
As he examined his room, he found a strange crystal. It wasn't a dream it was the crystal that Celaeno had given him. In order to hide Wing Zero and carry it around with him, it was turned into this crystal he held in his hands. Whenever he needed it, it would glow and his Gundam would reappear.
The crystal was no longer warm to the touch, so he knew that this was now just an ordinary crystal. A memento.

"Relena," he said her name softly to himself. "Why can't I just watch you without feeling so deeply about you?" He could only glare at himself for his attachment to her.
His mind wandered back to the present as he saw a familiar figure leave the building that he had been watching the entire day.

Author's note:
Whew! Never thought I could go so deeply into the philosophical depths of Heero's mind. But where will this lead? Just wait and see.