The
Price of Redemption
( . . . after Alone/Together)
by Midii Une
Chapter One
“Every morning there’s a heartache hanging from the corner
of my girlfriend’s four-post bed
I know it’s not mine and I know she thinks she loves me
but I never can believe what she said
Something so deceiving
when you stop believing
turn me around again
Said we couldn’t do it
Ya know I wanna do it again”
--Sugar Ray
**********
Trowa was happy, happier than he had ever been in his life. But with that
happiness came something else. Anxiety. He’d felt that
often enough before. But the anxiety that was the flip side of life with Midii
was more intense than any he’d suffered before. It shouldn’t be that way. But
he still couldn’t trust her. Couldn’t stop thinking that one day she would
simply disappear from his life without any warning.
Trowa looked at the sleeping girl in his arms as he did every morning. Every
morning he awoke before she did just to study her and reassure himself that she
was there. They weren’t exactly living together yet, but somehow it seemed that
every night they ended up together in the same bed, hers or his, it didn’t
matter. And every night he’d see love in her eyes. Just like the first time.
And just like that first time he prayed that it wasn’t a lie, that it must be
the truth. Could anyone fake a look like that?
He wanted to see it again, he could never see it
enough. He began to kiss her until he felt her begin to wake up. She groaned
softly. “Trowa. No, it’s too early. Not even light
yet,” she protested.
Midii’s eyes fluttered open sleepily and she saw his face close above hers. He
watched intently as they softened perceptibly and a tender smile touched her
lips. Her small slender hand reached up to caress his cheek and he caught it in
his hand and kissed the palm of it. It was always there. The
look in her eyes. Why did he worry he thought as she drew him down on
top of her and returned his kisses. She must love him,
she did love him. And he loved her more than he’d ever imagined he could be
capable.
She felt safe and cherished under the familiar weight of his body. In the soft gray light of his room, wrapped in his arms. She
never wanted to leave this place and tears sparkled on the edges of her lashes
as they always did at times like this. Bliss was the only word she knew to
describe this feeling. An explosion of happiness like a
white-gold flare in the dark night sky of her life. He didn’t trust her,
maybe he never would. Maybe he never should. There was so much in her past that
threatened her, haunted her.
But if Midii had her way she would never leave this room, never leave this bed,
never leave his arms. She tightened her arms around
him and luxuriated in the familiar feel of his skin on hers and the brush of
his hair against her cheek.
*****
He watched her as she applied her makeup in the tiny bathroom of his apartment.
He liked her better without it, the cosmetics made it
seem she was hiding something, like he tried to hide himself from the world
behind his wealth of bangs. The way she could change her appearance so much
with the mere stroke of a makeup brush was astounding and a little frightening.
Not that she could ever change enough to hide from him anymore. It just
reminded him too much of what she had been.
“I’ve changed my mind,” Trowa announced suddenly. “I talked with Cathrine. I have time off coming. I’ll go with you to see
Sally tomorrow. I won’t go on this tour.”
Midii looked at him a bit sadly. Even after this morning he still so obviously
didn’t trust her. She didn’t blame him, not a bit. But would he ever understand
that it was impossible for him to watch her every moment? He had a career that
was important to him. He had a relationship with his sister that shouldn’t be
neglected. And she herself needed to get on with her life. She had some leads
on a few job possibilities and the mandatory monthly meeting with Sally Po, her
official probation officer, her unofficial psychologist and her unofficial big
sister. She met with Sally as part of an agreement that kept her out of prison for
her past crimes. She told all, cried sometimes and Sally was a good listener.
Midii admitted that she looked forward to these visits, needed them to stay focussed on her new life as a law-abiding citizen of a
peaceful world.
“Don’t you dare Trowa Barton,” she said. “You need to go on this tour. Cathrine told me some of these stops are new venues for the
circus and it’s not fair to the rest if the best performer doesn’t show up.
Besides, I’m sure lots of girls buy tickets just to get a look at you.”
“Don’t tease me Midii,” Trowa said, looking down as he did habitually, his long
brown bangs sheltering his face. “I don’t want to be away from you that long.
We’ve only been together four months and now two months away?”
“Listen to me,” she said, placing her hands on his face and tiptoeing to look
in his eyes. “You go ahead. I’ll make my meeting with Sally. Then I have to
follow up on those job leads. You know that Quatre even promised to give me
references and that should go a long way toward establishing my credibility. If
nothing pans out with that I’ll meet you along the way. I have the schedule of
all your stops, Cathrine made sure. And even if I get
a new job and can’t come, there are still weekends. We will not be apart for
two months. I couldn’t do that, I couldn’t bear it. But Trowa, we can’t stay
like this forever. Life has to go on.”
“When did you get so practical,” Trowa asked, pulling her closer against him
and resting his cheek against the familiar warm softness of her hair. She was
right, he didn’t want her to be, but she was. He had to let go sometime, had to
resume his normal life and pick up his everyday responsibilities. Had to
believe she’d be there when he got back.
“I’ll pick you up at 7,” Trowa reminded her as she shrugged into her jacket.
“It’s dinner with Quatre and . . . her. He said they have something important
to tell us. Hopefully it’s that he’s come to his senses about all this.”
“Trowa,” Midii scolded, looking at him mischievously. “Be nice.”
He was silent a moment. “I can’t help it,” he finally said. “She almost killed
Quatre. Midii, she left you there for dead on
She turned away and pretended to look out the window, blinking her eyes
furiously to keep from crying. She was so much worse than Dorothy Catalonia had
ever been. Would he wake up one day and realize that he was making an awful
mistake in being with her? Would he close his heart against her and hate her as
he did Dorothy? Would his eyes ever flick over her like she’d just crawled out
from under a rock? If only there was some way to wipe her past away.
Trowa noticed the little shudder go through her and was immediately sorry for
what he had said. They were on such unsteady ground, still afraid of each other
in so many ways. Careless little comments had the power to do so much damage
between them. He went to her and embraced her reassuringly.
“Midii,” he said, pulling her close and tangling his hands in her hair.
Tomorrow, he thought, tomorrow he’d be leaving her behind. “I’m sorry. I’ll be
nice tonight, I promise.”
She gave him a weak smile. Midii had a feeling Quatre’s news had nothing to do
with giving up Dorothy, it was probably going to be
the complete opposite.
*****
Cathrine opened the door of the salon where Midii had
easily reacquired her former position and the little bell at the top of the
door rang gently.
Midii glanced over to see who had come in, Trowa had a
habit of showing up early to pick her up. Was he just missing her or did he feel
he had to constantly check up on her? She sighed a little, then
smiled at her friend.
“Cathy,” she exclaimed, turning around to show off her dress. “Do you like it?
More importantly do you think Trowa will like it?”
“I’m almost jealous,” Cathrine grinned, looking at
her friend appraisingly. “Very elegant.”
“Well,” Midii affected a glamorous tone of voice. “One must look one’s
best when dining out with Miss
She and Cathrine both broke into unrestrained giggles
at Midii’s over-the-top impersonation of Dorothy’s somewhat high-brow
personality
*******
The diamond ring Dorothy flaunted had to be at least four carats, between that
and Quatre’s pleased and proud smile Midii could tell that her guess had been
the correct one. She squeezed Trowa’s hand warningly and he squeezed back.
“So,” Midii said, smiling and leaning over to kiss Quatre’s cheek. “I see that
congratulations are in order. How wonderful. We’re both so happy for you.”
“No secret is safe around you Midii,” Quatre joked hugging her and shaking
Trowa’s hand. “You could always read me like a book, right from the start.”
“That was her profession, Quatre,” Dorothy said tartly, but she couldn’t hide
the happy gleam in her eyes despite her sharp words..
Midii tried to ignore the little comment but her cheeks flushed a little, and
instead admired the ring. “Oh Dorothy, it’s so beautiful. Can I see?”
Dorothy couldn’t resist holding out her hand for Midii’s admiration and
inspection. Trowa watched her face, it held an
appropriately awed and wondering expression as she studied the ring. What was
she thinking? Was it the ring she admired or did she
want to be getting married too? She never mentioned it. Did she want to marry him, was she ready for a lifetime commitment? He didn’t know
if he was, but then again he was positive he never wanted to be apart from her.
It was so confusing. How had Quatre known he was ready? But then again he
wasn’t sure he trusted Quatre’s decision to commit himself to Dorothy
Catalonia. How could he forget what she was? Could he love her like he loved
Midii?
“So when is the big day,” Midii asked.
“In six months,” Dorothy said. “There’s so much to do, you can’t imagine!”
“Trowa,” Quatre said, catching his best friend’s emerald eyes with his hopeful
blue ones. “I hope you’ll be my best man. There’s no one else I’d even consider
asking.”
Trowa paused and Midii poked him under the table. “Of course,” he said,
automatically, wrapping his fingers around hers. “I’d be honored.”
Dorothy breathed a silent sigh of relief. She’d been almost afraid he’d say no
and that would have broken Quatre’s heart. It was one of the things that used
to give her nightmares, the rejection and disdain of his friends eventually
driving him away from her. Perhaps she should be grateful to that girl, her own
crimes compared to Midii’s and Trowa Barton seemed to be having no trouble at
all accepting her in his life. It probably wouldn’t be long till they were
announcing their own engagement. He could hardly say anything to Quatre about
her while he was involved with Midii Une.
*****
Trowa turned to give Midii his hand and help her down the steps of the
restaurant. She smiled down at him.
“Look at you up there,” he joked, seeing her at eye level for once. He pulled
her into a kiss. He liked the way she fit against him at this angle, he usually had to lean down so far to meet her lips.
Kissing on stairs was a very good idea . . .
“You made Quatre so happy tonight,” she said, as his arms pulled her closer and
they kissed again.
“Let’s get home,” he whispered, looking into her eyes, his hand cupping her
cheek.
“Midii,” a slurred voice called and she tensed. Trowa’s eyes narrowed. “Midii! Babe, is that you,” the man said again, his hand
running over his wavy black hair and his eyes, almost as green as Trowa’s
studying her intently.
“Merde,” she whispered, her annoyance expressing
itself in her softly-spoken French obscenity. “
“Hey,” he grinned. “You remembered.”
“Looks like you’re busy tonight, but call me sometime we’ll have a drink. Maybe
get reacquainted. I’ve missed you,”
“Just sit by your phone and wait,” Midii said icily, her normally soft eyes
turning as hard as steel. Stefan had told her who’d sold her out to him.
“Christ Midii,”
Something hard and frightening in Trowa’s eyes stopped any further comments
from
“Oh Trowa, I’m sorry,” Midii apologized, pressing against him and resting her
head on his shoulder.
“It’s alright, don’t worry about it. Let’s just go back to your place,” he
said, his hand running over her hair meditatively. But somehow he couldn’t stop
that guy’s words from repeating in his head. “As soon as something better comes
along she’ll dump you too. No doubt about it.”
*******
Dorothy scowled at her smiling fiancé as they sat side by side on a private
space shuttle back to the L4 cluster. They thought nothing of traveling from
one colony to another for something as simple as dinner with friends,
they had both had more money than they knew what to do with.
“It isn’t cute Quatre,” Dorothy said, although a reluctant smile started
playing on her lips at the sight of his shining blue eyes. “The
I-told-you-so look just isn’t you my darling.”
“But Dorothy,” Quatre protested, his hand sliding down her bare arm to find her
fingers and twist the ring on her finger gently. “I did tell you that
everything would be fine. Trowa’s happy for us. I knew that he would be.”
Dorothy was glad that Quatre hadn’t seemed to notice the hesitation in his
friend’s manner when he asked him the big question.
“Okay, you were right. Everyone is very happy. We’re all one big happy family,”
Dorothy said, hiding the sarcasm in her words neatly enough to fool her
beloved.
She undid the buckle on her seatbelt and crawled up in Quatre’s lap, one
slender hand reached up to turn off the cabin lights. It was dark inside the
shuttle, the stars outside sparkled like her diamond ring had on a field of
black velvet on the night he gave it to her. She did love him, Dorothy thought
to herself, and she would make him happy. When Dorothy Catalonia set her mind
on something, that thing was a sure bet, she told herself. The darkness hid an
uncharacteristic gentle smile as her lips caressed his neck and moved to his
lips as her fingers deftly undid the buttons of Quatre’s shirt.
*****
“Take care of Trowa, please Cathy,” Midii whispered in her friend’s ear,
holding her close. It was almost like having a sister. Both of them thought so.
In a louder voice she said, “Be very careful with that new knife routine. I
think it’s too dangerous.”
Trowa put his arms around both of his girls.
“Midii,” he said. “How would you know? You never watch when Cathy throws knives
at me.”
“I have a very good imagination,” she said, shuddering. “And even if I’m not
watching I hear those awful thunks.”
He pulled Midii off to the side so they could say good-bye in private.
“Oh Trowa, I’ll miss you so much,” she said, wrapping her arms around him and
burying her face in his shirt.
“Me too,” he said, tightening his arms around her till her body molded to his
and he felt her against him.
******
Sally Po, chief of the Preventers Organization, angrily snapped a pencil in
two. Wouldn’t they ever give up? She lumped them all
together in her mind, a nasty horde of people who just wouldn’t let go of the
urge to make conflict. First there had been that recent incident where an
underground faction of the
Her intercom buzzed.
“Yes,” she said irritably, praying swiftly that it wasn’t more bad news.
“Miss Une is here for her appointment,” the secretary announced.
“Please ask her to wait a moment,” Sally said instantly.
She had forgotten all about the appointment. Midii Une. She was someone that
could find out the details she needed. She was absolutely perfect. But how
could she ask her? These past months she’d been rehabilitating her, she’d even
grown to like her quite a bit. The poor girl hadn’t had an easy life. But she’d
been so very good at what she did. She shouldn’t do this, but what choice did
she have. Many lives could be saved by nipping this in the bud. Sally told
herself that she had to put her personal feelings aside, as she had done so
many times before. Put them aside for the sake of peace.
When Midii entered the office Sally almost faltered in her good-intentioned
resolve. The girl looked so happy and confident. It had taken a lot for them to
trust each other, but Sally believed they had accomplished it together in the
months they had been meeting.
In a way this could help her, Sally told herself. It’s possible this could
complete the process, let her forgive herself and start again.
It was also possible that this would turn her back to a life of espionage.
It was also possible that she could lose everything, possible that she could be
killed. These were desperate people who wouldn’t hesitate to kill a traitor, a
treacherous double agent.
“Midii! It’s so good to see you,” she said, squeezing
one of her hands in hers in a gesture of friendship even as her mind considered
the possibilities. “I’m very proud of you, you’ve been perfectly consistent in
checking in by phone and showing up here at headquarters once a month.”
“Oh Sally, I just want to prove to you and to Trowa that I’m trying to change.
Really trying,” Midii said. “It’s just that sometimes I’m so afraid I’ll fall
back in. It’s like the feeling you get when you look over the edge of a cliff.
Do you ever wonder what it might be like to jump?”
She’d given her the perfect opening, Sally thought. She took a breath and
plunged ahead, right off Midii’s proverbial cliff.
“Midii? What would you be willing to do to attain
total redemption? Imagine wiping away all those feelings about what happened in
the past. If you could do something to make up for all that, what would you do?
How far would you be willing to go?” Sally queried.
Midii looked at Sally in surprise. What an odd thing for her to say. Always before she had reassured her that the past didn’t matter
anymore, that she should forget about it and concentrate on a new life.
Why was she saying such a thing now? A finger of cold fear touched her heart.
Something bad was coming. She wanted to run back to Trowa’s arms and bolt the
door behind her. But instead she sat down listlessly in the chair across from
Sally’s and bowed her head.
“I’m listening,” she whispered.
*******
She looked at herself in the mirror and lifted the scissors. Midii heard his
voice and felt his cheek brush against hers as he nuzzled his face in her hair
after they made love.
“I love your hair Midii. I love you,” he whispered. She knew that he did, at
night they loved to cuddle up on the couch in the dark and when she sat on his
lap he stroked her hair as if she were a little kitten.
Her eyes flew open and she swallowed hard, looking at herself in the mirror.
This was not something to do with your eyes closed, she thought grimly. Midii
gritted her teeth and closed the blades of the scissors over the handful of
hair just above her shoulder, tears streaming down her face with every snip
that followed.
******
Where the hell was the woman? Sally had assured him that she would be waiting
at the spaceport and that he should follow, unobtrusively of course. He looked
over all the women in the concourse but none of them were Midii Une. She had
backed out of the deal. Why was he not surprised?
To add to his annoyance a girl with reddish-blonde, softly curling hair and
vivid blue eyes kept glancing at him and smiling to herself
as if she were highly amused. He looked twice and felt like rubbing his eyes as
the girl’s smile widened and she raised her hand to her mouth to stifle a burst
of laughter.
Wufei scowled. This type of deception was not his
idea of how to fight. If Sally thought something might be wrong in
She got up from her seat and approached him. She held out her hand.
“I’m Marguerite Doce,” she said. “You must be Chang Wufei. I was told we were to meet here.”
“Is this charade totally necessary,” he grumbled.
“Of course,” she said. Her voice lowered to a barely audible whisper. “I hope
Sally knew what she was doing entrusting you to this type of mission.”
Midii wasn’t happy about this turn of events, not at all. If she couldn’t work
with Stefan she would rather be alone. She trusted no one else, except for
Trowa and she would not have him involved in this for the world. But Sally had
insisted she have some sort of protection. She glanced warily at her equally
unhappy partner.
“I’ll keep up my end,” he muttered back. “Don’t you worry.”
Author’s Note: Doce means 12 in Italian.
Next time on The Price of Redemption . . . a conversation with Duo has
Trowa on edge . . . Wufei is finding it difficult
keeping up with
Midii/Marguerite.