Since the other chapter was so short, you get 2 for the price of one this time ^_^

I do not own Gundam Wing

Chapter 3

Trowa stretched his stiff muscles, as he walked towards the lion cages, he had been up most of the night with Nanashi, who refused to sleep anywhere but in his arms, for the first part of the night. The infant was still with Catherine, and had become more used to her, though it was still clear that when he had the choice he would like to be with Trowa. It unnerved the ex-pilot somewhat; that the baby had become so attached to him, he who knew nothing of children and only death and destruction. But another more distant part of him was overjoyed, for it told him that he could be normal, that he could earn the love and trust of another human being.

The storm had passed overnight and the whole world had taken on a fresh clean look, the autumn chill was more dominate in the air, but it did not bring Trowa down as it would some people, he looked forward to winter, and the party Quatre always had. It had become tradition for all the pilots to gather at one of Quatre’s estates and spend Christmas and New Years together, and it was a time that everyone enjoyed. As Trowa passed through the circus grounds he nodded his silent greetings to the people he passed who were all now more than comfortable with his lack of speech.

The lion cages where silent, as Trowa entered they instantly came to life, the great male lion coming to his feet huge grizzled mane make him the appear twice his size. Trowa wasted no time in opening the cage and walking in, the massive male came to greet him warmly, it still unnerved some of the workers how well the lions acted around him even the trainer was not so close to them. But then again Trowa’s silent nature seemed to put animals at their ease considering how little they vocalise. Both man and lion moved to the far corner of the cage and lay down, the lion in the corner and Trowa leaning against him, he pulled a paperback novel from his back pocket and began to read.

Trowa never fully lost himself within the fantasy stories he read, too much of his training had stayed with him for that, always were his ears and part of his mind tuned to his surroundings always ready to give him an early warning, should some danger arise. He knew that Catherine worried about him, what with the nightmares that he continually woke screaming from, and he cursed his weakness for not being able to forget them, which caused him to chuckle internally I sound like Wufei. But the days of his training, - though granted they were nothing like Heero’s - could still not be forgotten, and he could not bring himself to speak of them to anyone not even his sister. He was well aware of how that hurt her though she tried not to let it show, but he was a man of few words and it was impossible to explain what had happened in one sentence.

He became aware then of the footsteps coming towards him, and he began to concentrate on them. They were light and almost completely silent; he instantly labelled them as those of a woman, though he decided silently they belonged to no woman who worked at the circus. He did not move at all only continued to read his book content to allow the woman to believe she had caught him unaware, he was however curious as to what would cause the woman to be moving with such caution. He was actually quite impressed, she was not even moving loudly enough to wake the sleeping lion behind him, whoever she was she knew what she was about.

The figure came into view then, Trowa’s breath caught, and before he knew it he had half raised from his resting potion. His book dropped for numb fingers as he took in the face before him, memories from his past stirring to the forefront of his mind. He had never thought to see her again still appearing so small and frail, but he did not miss the hardness around her eyes, that spoke of trials as hard as his own. She was just as beautiful as he remembered, her hair had not changed, soft blonde bangs framing her pixy face her blue eyes starring at him with the same shock he knew his emerald ones held.

“Midii…?” He breathed her name into the silence that had descended over the pavilion.

“Nanashi” her voice sounded just as disbelieving.

“I am no longer so free.” Trowa replied having once more restored blank features to his face.

“Just when I gain my freedom, you lose yours.” There was an untold sadness within her voice, “what’s your name?”

“Trowa Barton.” His own voice was soft and he came fully to his feet walking from the cage to stand before her. He let a look of puzzlement pass across his face because he could not think of how to phrase his question.

“No, I am no longer a spy, and I have not been since the day you found out. My father died shortly after and my brothers were forced into the army where they quickly died, after that they had nothing to hold over me and I left.” Her blue eyes were large but no longer innocent as he remembered them being.

For a time Trowa simply stood there, having nothing to say, he had never forgotten the small girl from his past, the only person who had not been scared away by his unusual silence. She had made it clear how she felt about him when they parted company, he an unfeeling solider lost in the war, and she a small girl determined to save her family, by any means necessary. At the time he would have denied having any feeling for the girl whom had betrayed him, but now standing before a young beautiful woman he could not ignore the feelings that passed through his heart and soul. And he had to ask himself, was he still angry with her? He took the moment to consider it, and decided that the betrayal really had not hurt him, it was in the past and though his memories were hard to forget, he had been able to, and move on with his life.

“You and I are more the same now than ever.” He leaned against the rails of the cage behind him, folding his arms across his chest. “I never forgot you…” His voice was barely above a whisper as he watched her from the corner of one eye. He looked over to her then, “is the freedom really worth it?”

“You mock me!” she accused eyes becoming like flint.

“Never,” he replied calmly his voice not once rising. “I was never happy as you claimed until recently, and not entirely then either.”

“Even with a name, family, and home you still are dead on the inside.” She seemed to sneer the words in his face, but Trowa did not respond, her blue eyes began to shine with her tightly held tears. “Why can’t I be like you?!”

“Would you truly wish to be?” he was slightly surprised at her out burst.

“Yes! If it meant never to hurt again, to feel no remorse or pain,” tears fell freely from her eyes now but she did not seem to notice. “I want to forget!” she shouted her anger at its peak.

Trowa stared at her a deep sadness welling up within him, “I wish only to forget.” At first she barely seemed to hear him but her head came up and she watched him confused.

“Trowa!” he swung around at the sound of his name as Cathy entered the pavilion holding the fussing Nanashi, and a bottle in her arms. “Trowa will you please feed him, he likes you more.” His eyes swept back to Midii, to gauge what her reaction would be to this awkward situation, her face was however deadpan. Slightly confused he turned back to Catherine about to say no, when Nanashi saw him and with a happy giggle stretched his little arms towards him.

Rolling his eyes slightly Trowa took the now ecstatic baby into his strong arms and gave him his bottle, which he was more than happy to drink from. Catherine seemed just to notice Midii standing quietly off to one side, “Oh who might you be?”

The small woman stepped forward completely in control once more, “Midii Une.” She said calmly extending her hand, to Cathy.

She took the hand with a warm smile; “I’m Catherine Bloom, Trowa’s sister, nice to meet you.” She studied Midii for a moment before asking, “Do you live in the city?”

“No I was actually on my way to find a place to stay.” Midii looked back to Trowa who was watching Nanashi in his arms, and a small smile crept across her pale face.

“Why don’t you stay with us, there’s always extra room.” Catherine laid a hand upon Trowa’s shoulder and he looked over to the small woman a tiny smile on his lips as he nodded silently, there was still so much he wanted to know.

Midii seemed to think it over, for a moment her eyes wandering about them until they landed on Nanashi who was resting sleepily against Trowa’s shoulder, his little head nestled by Trowa’s neck. Her smile was genuine as she nodded silently, and once more turned her gaze speculatively on Trowa.

It was later that afternoon that Trowa found himself alone in his Trailer with Nanashi sitting happily in his arms, from time to time wiggling with delight at something he saw or heard. His little hands were constantly reaching for Trowa’s laptop that rested on his knees. He had just sent a message to his fellow pilots and was waiting their response.

Noble: What’s up Silencer?

Silencer: I’mn loobking for some more inform ation.

Dragon: You’ve been around women to long, you’re slipping.

Silencer: I have an over active baby in my lap.

Shinigami: What!!!!! Is there something you haven’t been telling us?

Silencer: No h its not what you think, I found him in the park bbb yesterday.

Noble: So that’s why you were asking about the missing persons, you really had us wondering.

Soldier: There still has not been a report filed.

Trowa grabbed Nanashi’s hands into his own to keep him from hitting the keys anymore, the baby pouted a bit but was more than happy to play with Trowa’s larger hands. The longer a report was not filed the more chance that this was not exactly what it appeared to be, and even now Trowa felt that there was something he was missing. It was then that he remembered Midii’s reaction to Nanashi, there had almost seemed to be some form of recognition in her eyes, and so he continued his conversation with the other pilots, however this time one handed, the other was occupying Nanashi.

Silencer: Soldier I need you to run another search on a girl named Midii Une.

Soldier: She’s a member of a small band of mercenaries that formed during the war, she’s gained high rank and quite a bit of respect from the political delegates.

Silencer: Can you find out who she’s working for now?

Soldier: I’m not sure.

Noble: What’s going on Silencer, what’s so interesting about one mercenary?

Silencer: She may know something about the missing baby.

Soldier: Whoever was in charge of hiring her did a very good job, all I have is a name, nothing of what the job was. Devon Draken, does that mean anything?

Noble: I’ve met the man before he works for the Bèovel family.

Shinigami: I don’t think I’m familiar with them.

Noble: There a wealthy family who owns a number of colonies, my family has done business with them for years.

Dragon: So what does this all have to do with the child?

Silencer: I believe Midii knows the answer to that.

He logged off then and sat back Nanashi still playing with his hand was now sucking on his fingers, as he tried to puzzle through what he had been told, he looked down at the small child and spoke without thinking, “who are you?” Nanashi looked up at him and smiled clapping his fat little hands together, and Trowa could not help the smile that touched his face. A knock at his trailer door brought his face back to neutrality. “Come in,” he called softly.

He was not really surprised to see Midii, she had been settling into Catherine’s trailer and appeared to get along very well with his older sister. Her face showed nothing as she walked over and sat beside him, crystal eyes studying both him and the baby in his arms. Trowa wondered for a moment how to broach a subject he knew so very little about, however he was positive of one thing, she knew who the child was.

“Who is he Midii?”

Her blue eyes shifted back to Trowa, “His name is Erik Bèovel, he is the last surviving member of the Bèovel family, and the soul heir to the families fortune.”

Trowa looked from Midii to Erik and back to her again, knowing fully now that this went deeper than he had first believed, “tell me everything.”

She nodded almost as though she had expected it; “A man by the name of Kain is the second richest man among those colonies that the Bèovel family owns, he is also a man of great ambitions. Though we are not entirely sure as to his full reasons behind the attack we do know that it was to gain control of the colonies, most likely for the money.” Her eyes had taken on an icy cast the more she spoke of the man. “It is strange though I cannot think why he would want the money. Anyway Devon Draken, a friend of the family, got word of the attack some how, but was only able to save Erik.”

“He hired me shortly afterwards to find the child and bring him to safety, but by then the frightened woman, who had taken Erik had already left him in the park for you to find. You can’t imagine my surprise when I found out that you were the one she had seen.”

“I think I can.” Trowa’s eyes had softened slightly as he watched her, something passed through her eyes at his words but it was gone before he could name it.

“It just so happens that I also have a personal score to settle with Kain, for after doing some research, I found out that he actually, has the title General, and is the very same man that forced me to become a spy and killed my father and brothers.” She looked away as she spoke the last of these words not meeting his eyes.

Again Trowa’s words came without thought; “I never blamed you for what happened back then.” Trowa thought about it for a moment putting himself in Midii’s position, and very quickly decided that he would do anything for Catherine. Besides he already had, he had gone back to war to protect her life, when he could not even remember who he was – or so he had been told – and was that any different from what Midii had done?

“I never forgot you either…” her eyes where partially covered by her blonde bangs making her appear mysterious. “You look right, with a baby in your arms.” Her words were barely above a whisper but he had heard them loud and clear, it made him wonder if she still meant what she had said all those years back or had it just been a passing feeling. His thoughts must have been clear in his eyes for she laughed softly and looked directly at him. “I meant what I said.”

Trowa slowly moved towards her, in his mind not really sure what it was he planed to do, but acting more on feeling than thought, which was a first for him. In his mind Heero’s words played clear and true, Always follow your emotions. She looked into his eyes and saw what was there, her eyes never once questioned him, she simply accepted his kiss, with an open heart, and returned the love. Trowa was surprised to find that he loved her in return, so new was the emotion that at first he had not known what it was, but as he continued to kiss her Trowa knew that there was nothing he would not do for her, and nothing he would deny her.

They parted finally both looking breathless and surprised neither expecting the other to return their feelings, not after so many years, and the circumstances of their parting company. But the love that they had each secretly harboured for the other had now been returned, and they could only sit there and watch each other in silence their eyes telling all. Trowa did not know for how long they sat there but they broke eye contact when there came a knock at his door, Catherine came in shortly after a small smile one her face as she looked at her brother and Midii. The smaller woman blushed slightly, which only made Cathy smile more. “Trowa you have to get ready the show’s going to start soon.”

Trowa bit back a curse he had lost track of the time, he handed Erik to Midii the small child immediately started to cry but to everyone’s surprise she was able to calm him quickly. Without looking back Trowa ducked into his room and changed into his costume, grabbing his mask as he left, Midii and Catherine were waiting by the door when he re-emerged. Midii gave him a small smile, “I’ll watch the show.” He nodded silently a small smile playing on his own lips as she moved away to find a good seat in the bleachers.

As Trowa stood stock still allowing Catherine to throw her daggers at the outline of his body, his emerald eyes scanned to the packed seating around them. The crowed was at the edge of their collective seats as Cathy brought forward another dagger, as always Trowa never flinched. Thunck, right next to his ear, so close he could feel the flat of the blade pressing against his skin. He was aware that even after many months of performing, Catherine was still unnerved when he would not keep his eyes on the approaching weapon. She had often asked him, what if I miss? To which he had calmly replied I trust you. His eyes flickered to her for a brief second before resuming, his watch of the bleachers.

The tent was packed, as always, small children gasping at the scene before them, Erik was not unlike the other children that filled the pavilion though he seemed more interested in the man sitting beside Midii than on anything else. And likewise the man smiled down at the blonde baby, and even took Erik into his arms at Midii’s nod. Trowa found it odd that seconds later the child was crying and reaching for Midii, but when he took a closer look at the man sitting beside Midii he noticed that although the similarities were not great. It would be easy for a small baby to mistake this stranger for himself.

The performance ended with a thundering of applause, to which Trowa bowed along with Cathy, his face as always deadpan. He often noticed a shiver run up the spines of the audience whenever he fixed his emerald gaze upon them. The contrast of his smiling mask and dead eyes, was one of the reasons people kept returning to the show, he was the clown that laughed at nothing other than death. He briefly locked eyes with Midii before moving back stage along with his sister. Trowa lay one hand upon Catherine’s shoulder before moving towards his trailer, to change.

His trailer was dark and cold, but he paid it no mind as he moved to his room. Trowa stood by his dresser for a moment holding carefully within his hands the smiling mask. It was the only true smile he had ever worn, and it was not even his, he put the mask down and looked up to the mirror; what does that say about me? He did not much care to think of an answer. Trowa changed into a lose fitting pare of pants that he slept in and moved back into the main part of his trailer just as Midii was walking in.

She shivered, “It’s freezing in here how can you stand it dressed like that?” Trowa noticed for the first time that he was without a shirt, and instantly could feel a bright flush creep up onto his face. He made a move for his room without looking at the small woman, though he could feel her eyes upon him. Midii sighed in disgust and grabbed his arm; “You could just turn on the heater.” He looked at her in surprise, not sure what to say or do, she simply smiled.

He moved over to the thermostat and turned the heater on, Midii’s eyes still seemed to fallow his every move, though he was surprised to find that he did not really mind. She came up behind him her feet almost completely silent, Trowa did not move at first, but could not stop from flinching when Midii’s small fingers made contact with an old scare that ran the length of his back, “What’s this scare from?”

Trowa glanced over his shoulder at her his eyes and face blank, “I don’t know, it’s been there for as long as I can remember.” He closed his eyes, the mention of the scare caused images to flash to the forefront of his mind, but they were to blurred for him to make out.

 Midii snuggled under his arms her eyes sparkling as she leaned against him, she seemed to notice instantly that he wished to speak no more on the subject. With one of Midii’s small arms wrapped about his waist Trowa found himself being led towards the couch, still unsure of what to make of the situation he did not fight her. “Are you hungry?” he nodded silently from where he sat and watched as Midii began to search the cupboards of his small kitchen. “Do you think that we could slip into town tomorrow?” She looked over her shoulder, her small hands carefully pulling a glass jar from the cabinet.

“Yes.” He replied softly his emerald eyes watching her graceful movements, “Why?”

“We need some things for Erik.” She continued to busy herself with making them a dinner, and he continued to watch, finally she stopped moving and without turning spoke, “You know Trowa it’s impolite to stare.” For the second time in one night a blush spread across Trowa’s face, he was about to protest she had been starring at him just as much, but her laughter stopped him. “I know what your thinking, but it’s different when girls do it.”

Trowa had no reply to that; he simply folded his arms across his chest and closed his eyes taking a moment to reflect on all that had happened in the past two days. It felt as though a week had gone by since he had first laid eyes upon Midii and yet barely any time had passed. He glanced quickly at the small woman, who was she? He wondered silently, certainly not the same little girl he had met so many years ago, but at the same time she had changed very little. He would never forget the day she had told him, she could never be as happy as he was, Trowa at that time had never known true happiness, and perhaps he still had not. But maybe these feelings that passed through him when he kissed her or even looked into her blue eyes was the happiness she spoke of. Perhaps only when they were together could they both experience the happiness that others went through their whole lives feeling. He did not know the answer to any of his questions.

“You’re not falling asleep on me are you?” her voice was so close, but he did not jump. Trowa opened his eyes looking into hers and found those feeling rushing through him, in over powering waves. “Come on” she pouted, “say something.” Trowa cocked an eyebrow and took her into his arms laying his lips gently over hers, through her Trowa was able to smile. They parted and Midii seemed quite pleased with the results, though she quickly moved back into the kitchen.

“Do you not think it necessary to get Erik back into Draken’s custody?” Trowa asked watching her once more.

“No not yet, I want to see what Kain’s next move is first, it will be safer for everyone if we wait a few days before we go running back to those colonies.” He nodded silently agreeing with her assessment of the situation.

They sat down to a surprisingly ornate meal considering the foodstuffs Trowa kept in his trailer, which was to say very little. They said very little simply enjoying having one another for company. “This was wonderful,” Trowa said softly drawing a small blush from the woman sitting across from him. Once the meal was finished they sat together dimming the lights; Midii curled up beside him with one of his arms draped across her shoulder. Trowa was rather surprised to find himself like this, he had never expected to feel this way about anyone.

Midii left for Catherine’s trailer shortly after, leaving Trowa alone to consider again all that happened. He moved to his room shutting off the lights and turning of the heater. But he found that the moment he closed his eyes for sleep images of Midii filled his mind and he could find no rest. She seemed so small and frail and yet she had earned the respect of high-ranking officials as a good and trust worthy mercenary. She had made it through the war and survived when so many had not; she was a fighter, a woman who had taken lives in the past and knew that the same would be done in the future. But at the same time there was compassion in her eyes that told Trowa she would not pull the trigger on just a whim.

Morning came to find Trowa unmoving the entire night, he did not look tired as some people would when they did not find sleep,. It took more than one night to do that to him. Rising he showered quickly and dressed, not bothering with breakfast he left his trailer and moved out into the cool morning air. His breath steamed before him, but he gave no other signs that it was cold. The sun shone brightly in the morning sky trying with all it’s strength to give the world what heat it could, unfortunately the efforts were in vain.

He moved to Catherine’s trailer and knocked softly upon the cold metal door. Trowa did not have to wait long for the door to be opened, he was met with Midii’s smiling face, and Erik lay within the circle of her arms a blanket wrapped snugly about him. Midii came down the steps and stood before him for a moment before slipping her arm through his as she began to walk towards the small city.

For the next hour Trowa found himself within one baby store and then another, as Midii picked out the things that they apparently needed; although he was the one to pay for them. Though his arms where laden, with both bags and boxes Midii always found a small crook to fit her hand in. They made a day out of the trip stopping for lunch at a small café; Midii seemed to be enjoying the comments other women gave her about how beautiful the baby was. And she always looked to him, a small smile dancing across her faces as if she saw something none else could.

They returned to the circus late, Trowa now truly tired did not stay long at Cathy’ trailer, he simply dropped the packages off and moved to his own home. This night sleep did come, though his dreams where not pleasant, they were nightmares of his past, things that had happened to him so long ago that they were mere blurred images. But he could feel the fear, and uncertainty, it was a time of his life he did not want to fully recall. His sleep that night was not peaceful, he fought an unseen war as he tried to keep the memories from becoming clear, and no matter how hard he fought a name almost became clear.

Thankfully morning came…

***to be continued***