Maybe
by Liewe

[None of these characters belong to me… so please don't sue, it's not
worth it anyway]

My sins will always follow me, dogging my every step. I will always
remember the lives I took, the people I betrayed. And I will never
forgive myself, because I don't deserve it. I don't deserve comfort,
I don't deserve happiness, I don't deserve to live. Why did I
survive when so many innocents died?

My brothers? They're all dead, and they were innocent! They never
hurt a fly, but, no of course, the first to go are always the
innocent. Bad seeds tend to stick around. I don't know why, I doubt
I ever will. And it's frustrating.

I remember this man I used to work with. He truly thought he was
working for the right side, and he was the nicest man. He would give
me Christmas presents, and let me cry on his shoulder, and then one
day we went out, and he didn't come back. That mission had only one
casualty. The big friendly guy, my friend. The jerk, who was
standing next to him survived. Well, that mission at least. I must
admit, I never really tried to insure that mans safety.

And now, I'm sitting in the park, watching Nanashi sharing a picnic
with his friends. Three women, and four men. I was tempted to go
over and say hello for a moment, and then I remembered that I'm
undeserving of happiness, and I doubt he would like to hear from me
anyway. I took away the mercenaries who cared for him. I sent him to
space.

He glanced over here, and for a moment I saw recognition in his eyes,
followed by hate, before he shook his head. Obviously thinking me a
mirage… I helped that along, I dropped down to hide behind a bush. I
can see him, but he can't see me. Childish I know.

But I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. I just want to help.

Probably why I work for Preventer. Their most secret agent. Their
greatest liability. I'm sure I'll be dealt with at some point, but
for now… For now I can help make this world a safer place, and maybe
repent for some of my sins.

Maybe.