Since there's no way we can escape it, here's the legal stuff :
I don't own Gundam Wing and its characters, they belongs to people who make less spelling mistakes than me... This fic (for those who don't know what NC17 means...) is a lemon, which means it contains graphic sex. So if you're under 18, or offended by that, I highly recommend you don't read it. (Anyway, I know you can read despite the warning, but don't cry if you're caught reading this by your mommy!)

Recipe VII : The Tallgeese coconut club!!
 
 
 

           He sighed and leaned back in his lounge-chair. Life was just... cool. Of course he hadn't won the war, but who cares? He was there, staring at the sunset, in one of the most beautiful beaches on earth, in shorts, sipping a Pepsi and there were something like five cute chicks waiting for a night with him, only for today... He had thought seriously about taking a big bloody revenge after having been thought dead at the end of the war but eventually, he had dismissed it, prefering the white sand beatches to the battlefields and his little "industry" to the army.

The hotel... It all begon after he had met "mushroom man", who had decided that being somebody important sucked too, and that the idea of spending the rest of his life watching girls in Bikini was waaayy more attracting. Nobody needed him anymore, after all, the kids had blown up their toys, Une had taken care of his brat (He had never particularly looked forward being a father, but after watching the whole coup d'état stuff on TV, he had decided that this brat was too dangerous, and moody, at that!), and now they were all playing "adults", so... Time for a well deserved retirement!! And so was born...

THE TALLGEESE COCONUT CLUB!!

Almost 9... Dr G had started to prepare the bar and was now settling a stock of diced fruits for the cocktails. Saturday nights were always busy, which wasn't to say annoying because his scientific and logical mind had long ago resolved this simple equation : The more guests you get, the more bikinis you see.

"Let's talk about sex baby! Let's talk about U & me! Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be! Let's taaaalk abooooouuuuut sex! Let's talk about sex! A little bit, a little bit..." He had started performing a little dance on his chair (Dr G is short, if not a dwarf, remember?), and shaking his rear in rhythm with the radio while disposing new bottles in the closets.

At that precise moment, Treize entered the bar and couldn't help but burst out laughing at the sight before him. G was squirming on his chair singing along with the music, and, last blow, wearing his "Sombrero souvenir", the one with the red and yellow pompoms...

G glared at him but resumed his choregraphy, only to be joined at the sound of

"Boys, boys, boys, I'm lookin' for a good tim'"

There were now both shaking, twisting and singing (loud...) in front of a bewildered man, who didn't dare to look up. Eventually, he dared, the question was just burning his lips...

"Uh... I think I know you!! You're that, uh... Kureshn... Krishna... Kunshr..."

"General Kushrenada, please."

"Uh... yeah!"

"Why?"

"Well, uh... I was wondering... Uh... Why 'Tallgeese coconut club'??"

"??????"

"I mean... Why not 'Epyon coconut club'?"

It was G who answered in a wave of anger. "You pathetic moron!! Because it needed to have a good rhythm, so it would be commercial!!!"

"Cool down G... Take a banana juice..." Treize turned to the man. "It's simple : Tall-gee-se = co-co-nut, un-der-stood??"

The man blinked and resumed his drinking, while Treize was washing the dishes and pursuing his "show" with G.

"Seeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaa, sex and suuuuuuuuuuuun...." <dance, dance>

He leaned back against the elevator's wall and closed his eyes. It was the best way to think properly, for him. He didn't bother to look at the numbers, he knew perfectly well how long the elevator would take to reach the story. He had been summoned for an "emergency reunion"... For the third time this week.
He felt used, if not abused, but still... Everytime she called, he came. That was base. And it had to stop. But not today. Next time, maybe... He was completely lost in his thoughts when the heavy metal doors opened, revealing the long corridor that led to her office.

When he entered her vast office, the first thing he noticed was that she was sittig at her desk... In a decent position. Could it be that she really had some professional matter to discuss with him, for once? Nothing was less sure. She was extremely kinky, as he had discovered it those last few months, and the fact that she looked serious only meant that she hid something. No doubt.

"Sit." Her voice resounded, calm, but definitively not professional.

He obediently sat in a leather armchair, facing her. She looked so cold he could almost have pretended that they were gonna work. Almost. She crossed her legs, then uncrossed them. Realization dawned. She was hiding nothing. Nothing at all.

He looked at her cooly, but he knew she wasn't that naive, and the effect her "underwear" had on him started to be pretty obvious. Even in a sitting position. He coughs uncomfortably as she began to examine a few papers, pretending to be oblivious of his presence, and his pants became to feel almost unendurably tight, as, when she bent to pick up a pen that had "accidentally" fallen of her desk, he noticed that this was a -really- well prepared "reunion".

She flashed him a bright smile and casually sat on his lap, stroking his face lightly.

"Is there anything wrong? Maybe we should call a doctor?"

She brushed his hot cheeks with her palms and he understood that she refered to the obvious blush that had spread on his face. His breath got caught in his throat as she sat even more comfortably, her rear massaging very vonlutarily his ragging hard-on. She shifted herself, so she was now straddling him, and looked down with an amused expression.

"Tell me this your gun, down there..."

Before he could find something smart to answer, her hand traveled from his cheek to the zipper of his pants, and he give up his brainstorming when her expert fingers circled his erect penis. No. He wasn't going to find something clever to answer. Moreover he wasn't going to find anything to answer, as long as she would keep fondling him like this. Her second hand had join the first one, and his member was trapped between fingers caressing the throbbing lenghth up and down, and a palm rubbing and massaging the tip with a deadly precision. A wicked thumb probbed and tortured the tiny slit of the head until a small bead of moisture appeared, glistening between her fingers. At that point, the only word that came to his mind was "MORE", and it was a pity he wasn't able to express it with anything else than low groans, alternating with high piched squeaks.

Too glad to give him what he wanted, she started to stroke him more firmly, drawing him towards release.

His mind shut down. He could feel it build, boil, rise slowly. A first wave of heat broke into his lower belly and he knew it was there... He let himself drown in pleasure and...

"C... CHANG WUFEEEEIIII!!!!"

Oops.

There are things in a woman's life that are plainly annoying. Ironing, going to the supermarket on Sunday mornings, starting a diet, catching your boss giving a handjob to your man belong to that category.

Lady Une got up, readjusting her clothes and stared nervously at the newcomer.

Wufei sweatdropped. He was gonna have to give up speeches about honor and justice for a verrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy long time. And he also was gonna have to get dressed... and cleaned. Humiliation in capital letters, basically.

Same moment, different place...

Hilde whimpered softly and pulled at her ties once more, to no avail. Two hours, it had been two hours. She had expected him to take a tasty revenge but this... this... Was simply too much. She could hear the radio bawling an old cheesy "beach song", and the sound of Duo doing repairs and singing in the scrapyard.

"Seeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaa, sex and suuuuuuuuuuuun...."

And she was there, bound hands and feet to their bed, naked and wanting, desperatly to... Come. It was his new game -Duo had always proved to own a colorful imagination- which consist to keep her as long as he could on the edge, until she'd do anything, just for release. At first, she had admitted the fact that she kinda deserved this revenge and he had been more than pleased when he had managed to make her scream at the top of her lungs, only by grazing the strategic area. But now...
She had recently and accidentally learned what -exactly, and with florid details- had happened to Quatre (Thanks to a full bottle of gin and two liters of chocolate-chip-cookie-dough ice cream...) And, considering that Duo had gone too far (Though she was relieved that he had only tried to cut his fingers...), she had decided that she would resist. No begging today. Well... At least she would try.

And she already knew that she would fail. The perpetual purr and the shivers generated in her belly by the vibrator that was often her only "clothe", now, threatened to drive her insane. Thinking about stupid details of her surroundings, about anything, in fact, wasn't enough to distract her mind from the sensations that coursed through her body anymore. She made a desperate effort to avoid thinking at it, she tried to multiply 739525 and 56674416, but she never managed too, as she was now squirming frantically on the bed, half trying to make that damn thing move inside her, in order to get the release she needed so much, half trying to get rid of it.
She finally gave up, not even trying to choose between keeping it or trying to expulse it, and let the promise of a mind-numbing orgasm get the best of her...

"... Duo..." She called softly.

No answer. Sh... Sheesh. He couldn't hear.

"Duooo!!" She moaned, louder this time.

He couldn't hear. Or could he? It would have been very Shinigami-like to let her call again and again, she thought.

Duo snarled as he heard her call again, moaning. He would let her wait a bit more. Or maybe not. He needed a break, after all...

She was about to beg when she saw him standing in the door way, akimbo, and smirking lustfully. She sighed, he had come almost immediatly. It was unusual, suspect actually. She knew he wasn't exactly done with his "revenge game" yet, so she just closed her eyes, expecting some more teasing. She opened them wide when she felt a weight on the bed. He had sat, just near her and was watching her, his face ominously mirthful, and his eyes unreadable.

"Did I hear my name?" He said, resting his hand on her lower belly, without moving it the slightest bit.

Hilde felt herself sinking further at the sensation of warmth on her skin. Now she knew she would do anything just to have this damned hand move. "Yes... Duo... Please."

"Oh Lord... Hildie darling you were almost naked!" He said in sugary voice, noticing the vibrator, still buzzing, that she had try to push out earlier. Before she could analyze what he could be up to, he pushed the object, back in place, and even deeper, but still without moving it inside her. She tried to arch her back at the feeling, only to be stop by her restrictive ties.

"Hildie... Are you Okay?" He whispered, faking compassion.

She couldn't even answer. It was pretty ironic, in fact, she thought. She was willing to beg for release... And, now, she was so out of it that she couldn't even voice her praise.

She didn't had to, However. Her eyes shot open for the second time when she felt him remove the torturous toy, only to replace it by something definitely warmer. He had made himself comfortable, on top of her, his pulsating member positionned at her entrance, pressing against the soft and damp folds... And not moving at all.

"What do you want?" He groaned. 'Here we go...' she thought.

"... you."

"Louder, please."

"I want YOU!" She yelled, out of frustration.

"Do you want Quatre...?"

"No, no, NO!... Please..."

That last sentence hit Duo's soft spot with a perfect accuracy. No god resists to the plead of an helpless mortal. And Hilde knew it, even though she couldn't collect many coherent thoughts at that precise moment.

Not holding himself back any longer, he thrusted his entire lenghth in her waiting wetness with a victorious groan. 'Who said that there was more than sex to the male pride?' was Hilde's last conscious thought before indulging completely her shuddering body in the rythmic pound. Duo had started to move, and each single thrust betrayed his need for 'revenge'. He pushed in and out, in a daze and he couldn't tell if he wanted to pleasure or to hurt her. The bed shook with every thrust and it seems that the harder he pounded, the more she enjoyed herself. He could barely manage to think properly too, and the feel of her warm inner walls squeezing him, added to her increasing moans threatened to sent him over the edge. He wondered vaguely why he didn't indulge himself to come now, and let her a bit further on the verge of release... But, before he could discuss it with himself, he felt her body jerk, pulling desperatly at the ties and her moans came to ragged gasps. Too late. He plunged himself deep into her a few more times, before finding his own release and he threw his head back while the matchless shivers of pleasure coursed through his body and he emptied himself, wave after wave, forgetting to be angry, or even to think.

He removed his now flaccid member and sat, watching her silently. He body was covered in sweat, and her innerthighs were a mess, a mixture of seed and juices running slowly along them to finish its course on the rumpled sheets. No matter how hard he wanted to show her who was Shinigami in this house, and no matter how hard he wanted to make her pay, he couldn't deny that it was still good, maybe even... Sweet, in a twisted way.

She didn't even try to ask him to untie her, this time, and he left the room as he watched her doze into a well deserved sleep, a genuine smile on his lips. Maybe tomorrow could be the day to ease the punishment a bit... But not too much.

Meanwhile, between two vid-coms...

"OhmigawdOhmigawdOhmigawdOhmigawdOhmigawdOhmigawd!!! He did you THAT toooooo???" Relena squeaked as Midii procedeed to give her a thorough description of her husband's performances...

"Yes... And also with his tongue!" Midii beamed.

"But... This is soooo unfaaaiiir!! He never did it to meeee!!!" She whined.

"Trowa did..." Midii remarked with a hint of bitterness in her voice.

Relena sweatdropped. "Uh... Indeed..."

"Whatever..." Midii sighed. What do we do now? It's not that I don't wanna see Tro-chan anymore... But... I think I need a break!!"

"Then take it!" Relena stated cheerfully.

"???"

"See... I spotted that cool ad for a 'week of relaxation in paradise'!" Relena left the phone for a while before returning with the day's newpaper, Midii could hear her flipping through the pages. "Politics... Nooo... Crosswords... Nooooo... Ah!! That's it!! 'Tallgeese coconut club'!! 'Sun, palm trees, sea, pools, cocktails and entertainment'!!! Watcha think about this??"

Midii had spotted the ad too, and was now staring at it. "What do I think about what?? Going on holidays... Or going on holidays with my best ennemy??"

"Peace place, half past twelve?"

"I'm in."

Duo entered the scrapyards, his arms full of groceries and various bags. He almost threw them, keeping only one black plastic bag. He ran more than he walked towards the bedroom, eager to show to his "naughty Hildie" his new toy. He could barely contain his joy at the idea of testing it on her. It was a weird blue stuff he had bought in small shop, on the way to home. The shop-keeper... What was the name...? Yes! Sabacat*! had assured him that it would be... Interesting, or more exactly, "mind-blowing". He grinned cruelly as the thought of all the things he was going to do to her today, and pushed the door slowly.

Duo sweatdropped.

There, lying on the bed, tied and naked, was currently... Nobody. He lunged to the bed, peered under it, under the matress, in the closets, in the drawers of the desk (?? Is Hilde that small, Duo?)... No Hilde.

Moreover, No Hilde = No fun.

Hilde smiled brightly as she hopped out the bus and ran towards Sally, who was already waiting in front of the huge spaceport. Duo's "security system" had proved to be almost as efficient as the Deathscythe self-detonating system, which meant, that once freed from the ties, she had managed to pack up, burn his twinky bag, and creep out the house without being noticed.

Hilde Schbeiker : 2 / God of Death : 1

The first thing she had done was calling Sally, who seemed to be pretty pissed and had explained her that she was going on holidays and that, once back, she would "KillhimKillhimKillhimKillhimKillhimKillhimKIIIILLL HIIIIIM!"
Having nothing better to do, and having left the house without forgetting Death's credit card... Hilde had asked her where she was going, exactly, and Sally had told her about an ad for a club, in Thaïti, on earth.

Five minutes of reflexion and three hours of shopping later, they were patiently waiting for their flight, sipping a coke and chatting about how disgusting males were.
 

*Hello sabby-chan!! Thanks again for inspiring me!