Fall Out
By
Captain Anonymous


It was late.
Midii held the small angel in her arms, giving her a bottle of warm milk.
Marie touched the warm side of the bottle with her tiny hand and held her mother’s long hair with her other.
As she finished the last of the milk in the bottle, she left out a soft sound. Midii took the bottle from her, and placed it down on the table beside the rocking chair.
Midii gently placed the small angel on her shoulder, and softly touched her back with her fingers.

“Its all right honey.”

Midii stood and carried Marie over to the crib, placing her among the stuffed animals.
The small angel held her stuffed lion with her small arms, after making sure that she properly knocked over the stuffed penguin. 
Midii picked up the penguin and put it in the corner of the crib, well out of reach of the small angel.
Midii lifted the pink blanket and placed it over Marie, as she curled up with her stuffed lion.
She looked so peaceful. So quiet.

Midii stood over her, as she closed her eyes. She leaned down over her daughter, and feeling her lips against her warm neck. She lightly kissed her.  “Good night.”


She closed the door part way, as the small angel slept. She leaned against the wall in the hallway, closing her eyes, to enjoy the few moments of silence.
She walked back into her bed room, walking towards the window.
She stared outside, into the darkness, she knew she wasn’t going to see him. 

“I see your awake.”

Midii turned and looked towards the bed in the center of the room. Trowa sat up near the end of the bed. Midii looked at his face, feeling glad he was awake. She walked over to the bed.
“Marie was crying. I didn’t want to wake you.”

She sat down on the edge of the bed. 
“Was she all right?”
Midii said softly, “She was just a little restless. I gave her a bottle. She’s all right now.”
“That’s good...........”

Midii laid her head back, Trowa leaned down beside her.
He tangled his fingers in her hair as he pulled her close to him.
She could feel her warm body pressed up against his.
Midii moved her hand, bringing the blankets over their bodies. 
She rest her head on his chest, and closed her eyes.
She wanted him to understand. 
She felt that deep down he understood how she felt. Just what she was going through. Everything that had happened. Everything that she felt. 
It was so dark now.
The darkness.
She could feel tears form in her eyes, she moved her hand to wipe the tears away.
Midii felt as Trowa touched her side with his warm hands.
He didn’t have to look into her eyes to know how much pain she was feeling.
He could feel it deep inside of him, to know just what she was feeling.
Trowa whispered lightly into her ear, “I’m sorry.”
Midii touched his hand, wanting to stay with her like this, as he held her close.
“I’ve just been so worried, I can’t seem to escape it.”
Trowa listened silently.
“I’ve been scared that I’m going to lose him.”
Trowa said, “Its all right to feel that way. It hasn’t been easy. I know that he does still love you, and that he’ll come back. There’s nothing you could have said.”
“I know, but I just feel like I’m losing him. It feels like the next time that he leaves will be the last time.”
Trowa could feel her grip on his hand tightening. 
“I never wanted him to get upset like this. I knew that hearing about Lady was going to be hard for him. I’m worried when he leaves for so long. I’ve lost so many people that I loved. So many people that I could have loved.”
The words cut into Trowa, he knew how she felt. Losing friends, comrades. They would die. Sometime they just get up and walk away, walk into the darkness. Sometimes the darkness would come within them.
Midii tried to hold back her emotions. 
Trowa whispered, “I’m sorry.”
Midii felt a chill against her skin, as a tear fell.
She moved her hand, and touched her husband’s face, feeling the tears on his face.
It had been one of the few times since they were together, that she had seen him cry.
He rarely emotion, usually wearing the mask that he had worn when she first met him.
He usually kept the cool expression, not showing emotion. Always keeping the pain and sorrow inside of him.
He didn’t wear that mask anymore. That mask that never cried.
Trowa didn’t do anything to hide the tears. He let them fall for her.
He knew how she was feeling. He knew the pain she felt inside. He had seen her emotions torn apart on that cold battlefield. 
he moved hands along her body, there was nothing else he could do for her now.

--------------

Townsend finished laying out his uniform, carefully laying his Preventer Jacket out on the chair beside his bed.
His boots were on the floor by the foot of the bed, already polished.

He laid down on the bed.
He felt his sore muscles relax, as he closed his eyes and breathed deeply.
He couldn’t remember the last time he slept in a bed. This was probably the first time in the past week.
He had been working most nights, only taking a few short hours to sleep at his desk.
The time was catching up with him now, finally taking this night off.
He could feel his body melt into the soft blankets, as he turned off the light.
Townsend moved his hand along the bed, feeling the blankets and mattress beside him. 
Emptiness. No one.

He had worked most of the week, often on the two sheets of paper on his desk. Far longer then the piles of Preventer forms that he was to sign.
Those two sheets. A letter. He would have to make at least two copies.
He wondered if he would ever send it.
Or if it would end up in a box, like so many other letters and dispatches, that were sent. 

The night felt so cold now. The darkness. 
He knew there was no way around it. 

-------------------

Johnnie laid back on the bed, staring blankly towards the ceiling.
He covered his eyes with his arm as Marlene turned on the light.
She walked into the room, holding a small silver tray, with two cups of hot tea. 
She placed the tray down on the bedside table. 
Johnnie sat up and rubbed his eyes, as they readjusted to the light.
“I know that you weren’t hungry, but I thought that you might like some tea.”
“Thanks.”
Marlene stared at him for a moment, as he took the cup from the tray.
Johnnie blew lightly on the tea, as the steam danced in the air. He held the cup with both his hands.
Marlene said softly, “You look a lot better
Johnnie nodded, “Yeah. That medicine you gave me helped.”
Marlene picked up the second cup from the tray. She was glad that Johnnie had come back. 
“How long do you think you’ll be staying.”
Johnnie closed his eyes, “I’m not really sure. With the way that I feel right now, I don’t ever want to go back.”
Marlene looked at him, “I’m sure your sister and your brothers miss you.”
“I know, but I just can’t go back now.”

Johnnie fell silent, as he stared down into the cup of tea.
“I don’t know what to do right now. Its just all so dark. I thought that I would know what to do, when I saw her. There was no answers. I don’t know how to feel. I don’t know what to do.”

“You just need some time to sort things out in your mind. I know how hard this must be for you.”
Johnnie put down the cup, and slowly rubbed his hands together his hands together.
“I don’t want to hurt Midii. I want to make sure that what I do is the right thing. If I’ve got to, I’ll do what ever it takes. Even if it means..........”

Johnnie fell silent. “I’m........I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry. I understand how you feel. I know how confused you must feel. I’m here with you.”
Johnnie finally looked into her eyes, and touched her face with his hand. He rubbed his hand down her neck, to her short blonde hair.

There was a sharp sound of the cup Marlene had been holding hit the floor, shattering.
She moved her hands around his neck, and held his head against her.

To be continued.