Alone/Together: Epilogue
by Midii Une

“Who is that man,” Anton’s mother asked, her fingers pushing back a strand of her silky black hair from her face as she studied the stranger with green eyes who was standing in her doorway talking to her son.

“It’s Signorina Catalina’s brother,” Anton said, glaring at Trowa defiantly.

“Did Midii come here,” Trowa asked the boy. “I know she was upset about your cousin and I thought maybe . . .”

“Anton went with her to the cemetery yesterday afternoon but we haven’t seen her since,” the woman said, casting a glance at her obstinately silent son. She was glad Midii hadn’t wanted to stay with them. It was her fault after all that Stefan was dead and she and Stefan had both been a horrible influence on Anton. She prayed the whole mess was finally over and that her son had learned his lesson.

“Did she say anything about where she might be going,” Trowa asked. He’d hoped she would be here but he’d missed her. Why was she doing this?

“She told Stefan where she was going. I heard her whispering it to him at the cemetery,” Anton said suddenly, not sure whether he should tell the Gundam pilot anything more. Stefan had not liked this man, not one bit and his loyalty to his cousin warred with his loyalty to Signorina Midii. Did she want the pilot to find her? Her words said she didn’t, but her face had told another story.

“Home,” Anton said finally. “She went home.”

******

The little village in Provence wasn’t far from the coast but it was hard to find, a forgotten place off the beaten path. Most people had never even heard of it or thought maybe it didn’t exist anymore.

The old stone house was empty and echoed with silence as he searched through it. If she had ever been there she had already left it behind. The place was so sad, it reminded him of her. A beautiful but lonely place, the only sounds were the soft, faraway twittering of birds and the wind in the branches of the trees. The late-blooming daffodils and tulips peeked out from among the weeds in the untended garden outside. He’d envied her her family in the past, even envied the mere fact that she knew who she was, that she had a past and his eyes took in every detail. This was where she’d come from. But where was she now? How would he find her? There were no more clues and she was expert at hiding herself.

He opened one last door upstairs, the old wood protesting on its rusty hinges. The soft scent of lavender filled the sunny room and there was no dust on the furniture and floor as there was in the rest of the abandoned house. As Trowa looked thoughtfully at the bed with its fresh sheets, he heard a soft creaking noise coming from beyond the open bedroom window . . .

Midii sat in her old swing, swaying slowly back and forth, looking out over the valley, her hands clinging to the soft, weathered old ropes that had withstood the test of time. From her vantage point on top of the hill she could see a soft, misty blue line on the horizon that represented the sea far away in the distance.

Was he still there on Corsica? Was Trowa somewhere across the water thinking of her, looking for her? Or had he merely been relieved that she had removed herself from his life as quickly and painlessly as possible? She’d lied to him again, promising to wait. It wasn’t safe to stay, she’d always brought only death and trouble to the one she loved with all her being. She told herself again that she was doing the right thing although leaving him behind had been as difficult as ripping out her own heart.

His footsteps were silenced by the thick, matted grass on the path to the garden swing. He reached out his hand and the swing stopped moving. Midii jumped off and turned around, wishing for her gun, but she’d left it in the house. Her heart thumped crazily when she saw who was there.

Trowa could see her struggling to hide her happiness at seeing him. Then why, he wondered in confusion, why had she left when she had promised to stay?

“I wanted to come back home again,” she said softly, reading his question on his face. “Back to who I used to be, before I met you, before . . . everything.”

“I would have come with you,” Trowa said, moving towards her. “Why didn’t you wait?”

“I was afraid,” she explained, her eyes on the ground.

“Of me,” he asked, stopping in his tracks.

She shook her head. “Afraid of myself,” she said, her voice choking, pausing as if wondering whether to speak the next words. “Afraid that what happened to Stefan will happen to you, because of me.”

So that was it, he thought.

“Besides,” she continued, regretting her confession as she saw a hopeful expression appear on his face and steeling her heart against her feelings. “The arrangement won’t work and I won’t go to prison. You said yourself that day that all you wanted was your normal life back. I can make myself disappear so that none of you will ever find me. You have no idea how well I can hide. Please don’t try to stop me, I don’t want to fight you.”

He wished she wouldn’t use that word . . . disappear. If she was afraid of him ending up like Niente there was nothing he feared more than that one day she would disappear and he’d have no idea where to look.

“I was angry when I said that. You know that it isn’t what I want Midii,” he said. “I want us to be together . . .”

“Forever,” Midii asked, knowing in her heart what the answer would be.

“Indefinitely,” Trowa answered after a lengthy pause. “I just don’t know. I do know that I want to try . . .”

“Because you don’t trust me,” she replied, sitting back down in the swing and moving back and forth in it slowly, her eyes on Trowa the sunlight flickering through the leaves of the tree casting patterns on his face. Engraving the sight of him on her mind and heart as she waited for him to speak.

He was silent for the space of a heartbeat. “No, I don’t trust you. I can’t,” he said slowly, expecting her to protest or get angry.

“You’re right not to trust me,” she admitted sorrowfully, surprising him with her reaction. “I’ve tried Trowa, I’ve tried to change but every time I do something happens to pull me back. I honestly don’t know if I can ever be anything else anymore. Maybe I can never escape my past. But please believe that I do care for you, I always have, that’s something else that can never change.”

Somehow he did believe that much, he wanted to so badly. Trowa pulled her up from the swing and tilted her chin up so he could see her face, the tears shining in her clear blue-gray eyes.

“Her tears mean nothing,” he told himself but common sense couldn’t dispel the sensations her sorrowful look caused in him and he wrapped his arms around her. He couldn’t let her go now, not after everything that had happened. They were worth the risk. He didn’t trust her, but oh how he loved her. Could a possible broken heart later be any worse than watching her walk away and out of his life now? He had to think what to say to convince her of that.

She pulled away from him at his continued silence and the pain he felt watching her walk away was almost physical. Midii turned for a moment in the doorway, looking out at the countryside around them, her heart aching, wanting desperately to turn and throw herself back into his arms. He was tempting her to be selfish, to forget the lesson she’d learned, forget her fears and stay with him no matter what the cost.

“I wish I could be the girl I was so long ago, when I lived here with my father and brothers,” she said, her voice so soft he barely heard her. “I was so different then. I didn’t want to change, it just happened. If only we could have met then . . . by the time we met it was already too late for us, wasn’t it Trowa?”

She continued into the house as he watched her.

He followed her into the house, drawn irresistibly up to the bedroom whose window overlooked the neglected garden. She was staring at herself in the cracked mirror over the dresser.

He walked up to her and leaned his chin on her shoulder and they looked at their reflection in the mirror without speaking. Letting their mirror eyes meet as their real eyes were afraid to. It seemed to them less threatening that way.

She could feel the heat of his body and the hard strength of his muscles against her back. She started to surrender to the inner peace and sense of elated contentment she felt when she lost herself in those wonderful, green eyes. She started to forget her good intentions as her own body reacted to his.

“Trowa,” she murmured and let herself lean back against him and felt his arms encircle her and the warm touch of his lips against her skin. She closed her eyes, afraid to move again and shatter the dream, sensations of intense desire and pleasure bubbling up from the center of her being, eroding the last constraints of common sense and overwhelming her.

She felt so right in his arms that this just couldn’t be wrong. Midii cared about him, she really did, he had to believe that it wasn’t another one of her lies or games. He felt a shudder run through her body as his lips fastened themselves on the soft, sweet-smelling place where her neck met her shoulder and then moved lightly along her jawline. She moved a little in his arms, seeming to urge him to hold her tighter but he wanted to go slow, make this last forever. He had perfect control over himself, wasn’t he both a disciplined performer and a Gundam pilot?

God, he was torturing her, with butterfly kisses and feathery touches. It wasn’t enough to satisfy the desire building in her. He was cruel and wonderful. She shivered in a mixture of frustration and delight. Damn his control. He seemed to be holding her so lightly in the circle of his arms, yet he wouldn’t let her move any closer to him, wouldn’t set her free to press herself to him and explore his mouth with hers. Trowa. He was driving her mad.

Trowa knew he’d never forget the sensations of this warm spring afternoon, they were going to be together at last. Nothing could stop it. She was trembling with desire in his arms and it was so hard not to crush her against him and finish what he’d started with his soft touch. But not yet, he had to make her want to stay, make her see how much he loved her . . . the soft, sweet smell of lavender in the room was like an aphrodisiac to him because it was her scent, the way Midii smelled. The way she was to him . . . soft and sweet. He pulled his hand through her hair, it was like a handful of fine silk threads, he wanted to see it spread on the pillow beneath her when he made love to her, wanted to feel it against his skin when he woke up every morning . . .

He placed her on the bed and knelt above her, his hands circling her wrists gently but firmly keeping her in place beneath him, studying her face looking for the truth. He had to know that she loved him, really loved him.

“Never disappear again Midii,” he begged for her promise, for reassurance, his voice hoarse with fear and desire.

“Trowa I-I’m so afraid,” she whispered, looking up at him. “I love you. I’ve loved you so much since the first minute I saw you in those woods. I wished then I could always be with you, the one that I love. But because of all the things I’ve done I can’t, I just--”

He placed his fingers softly on her lips, shushing her. “Midii that doesn’t make any sense,” he said. “I love you too and all I want is to be with you, like this. Don’t you want that too? I can take care of both of us,” he promised, his eyes taking in her fading bruises. “Nothing will ever hurt you again, just stay with me.”

“Trowa,” she sobbed, reaching for him with her free hand. His resolve and control fled at the sound of her voice and the soft touch of her hand. He collapsed on top of her, feeling her underneath him, warm and soft, burying his hands in her hair and kissing her neck, his body starting to move against hers in an instinctive rhythm and her arms went around him keeping him close.

Midii’s hands crept up beneath his shirt and he lifted himself off her to pull it over his head. She drew in her breath, her eyes taking in his perfectly-muscled chest and the incredible green eyes shining with love and desire for her peeking from beneath his auburn bangs. “You’re beautiful,” she whispered.

He felt his face growing hot under her intense gaze as she placed her small cool hands on his bare chest and sehs felt the racing of his heart under the smooth skin. She slid her hands up to his shoulders and pulled him back down on top of her again.

“I should be saying that to you, Midii,” he said, lowering his lips to hers again.

“Mmmm,” she moaned softly. “Don’t talk, just show me.”

Her eyes were naked, shining with love and need. “Ohh, Trowa,” she moaned, wrapping her legs around his waist, his green eyes reflected in hers as they shuddered to a climax. He collapsed on top of her and she closed her eyes, holding him tight and keeping him inside wanting it never to end, her fingertips streaking through the tiny beads of sweat on his shoulders.

*****

Sunset cast a hazily unreal pink glow into the room but nevertheless reality started to creep back into Midii’s mind, the fears, the doubts. Trowa slept with his face pressed to the curve of her neck, his body draped over hers so that she really wasn’t sure where he ended and she began. Her mind told her to ease out of his encircling embrace somehow and run. She’d made a selfish mistake giving in to her passion, accepting love from a man she didn’t deserve. A man she might hurt if she stayed. But her heart told her she might do more damage to them both if she left now than any outside force could ever manage.

I’ll stay awhile, she decided, lacking the strength of mind or resolve to run from him anymore. I’ll try . .

She drowsily snuggled closer to Trowa’s warmth and went back to sleep.

As if her treacherous thoughts of leaving had filtered into his mind, Trowa’s eyes fluttered open to see the soft curve of her cheek so close that his lashes brushed against it when he blinked. He made a soft sound of contentment and pulled her closer and shut his eyes again, the gentle sound of her breathing lulling him back to sleep.

Together, he thought, now we’ll always be together.

THE END

To be continued in The Price of Redemption.